Through The Years

The other day when I was posting some photos on my blog I accidentally clicked on the link to upload photos from this blog, rather than from my computer. Prior to this I didn't realise that all the photos I have ever posted on this blog were saved in a folder on this blog and it shocked my socks off to see how I have changed over the years I have been blogging.

I have been blogging for four and a half years and the stats on my side bar (copied below) really show how much my weight has fluctuated during that time. Anyone that has been following my blog for a while must be so sick of hearing about the weight gain and loss, fad diets and the whinging! I commend you for sticking by me for this long.

My blogging years weight statistics

• 2006 Start Weight:128.5 kilos
• 2007 Start Weight: 114.5 kilos
• 2008 Start Weight: 108.8 kilos
• 2009 Start Weight: 125.4 kilos
• 2010 Start Weight: 99 kilos
• 2011 Start Weight: 82.5 kilos

Strap yourself in, here is a selection of the photos I have posted on this blog over the years. Watch my weight go up and down like a roller coaster!

2007

Eating poutine in Queenstown, New Zealand

In Queenstown, New Zealand

Celebrating the 2007 AFL grand final

Eating a pizza cone in Tokyo

In Tokyo for work

At the zoo for my birthday

Drinking champagne over Christmas in the Yarra Valley

2008

Graduating from my Masters Degree 

The day after my 10 year high school reunion... hung over 

My friend's wedding in Apollo Bay 

Eating gelato in Rome (yes that is chocolate on my lip) 

Drinking champagne in France

Doing singstar at my brother's house after watching the footy

 At my friend's wedding in Hawaii

Touring the North Island of Oahu

Dressed for the Melbourne Cup races

New Years Eve in Bendigo with the blogger girls

2009

Holiday in Darwin 

Floating in the pool in Darwin

At my dad's house in the country to watch the footy

At my old house in Point Cook

Holding my friend's adorable new born

2010

Drinking wine in the Yarra Valley on Australia Day

The day I finally got my driver's licence

At Lake Louise in Canada

Dancing in Las Vegas

On the teacups ride at Disney World

Eating a hot dog in New York

At Alcatraz in San Francisco

Drinking wine in the Napa Valley

Hiking at Joshua Tree National Park

Back in Melbourne on my first day at my new job

Touring through Bali

At my friend's wedding in Bali

 Eating at Vue de monde for my 30th birthday

On a picnic for my 30th birthday

2011

New Years Day walk

Hiking the 1000 Steps in the Dandenongs

Walking through Toolangi State Forest

Touring around Milewa 

Eating in Kyneton

Eating cake on my 2 year lap band anniversary

What was I thinking with that fringe in 2008...

Bursting With Happiness

Exciting news… I got a new job. I couldn’t be happier right now!!!

I’ll still be working at the University, which I love, but I’ll be working in publishing again and also earning much better money. After I got back from travelling last year I took on a temporary admin/events management role at the University. I like working here, but the job just didn’t excite me and I was bored to death. So now I get to combine both the things I love (university research and publishing) and be paid well. Hallelujah!

I have made the best friends here at my current job and I couldn’t stand the thought of leaving, so now I’ll just be working downstairs from them. Also, the lovely B is now working just down the road from me so now I get to stay close by to her for lunch dates.

The best thing about getting this new job is realising I have the most fabulous and supportive friends, family and colleagues in the world. I have had so many lovely emails, texts and phone calls from everyone who is genuinely happy for me. It just blows my mind that people care so much and it makes me fell all warm and gooey inside. My apologies for being so soppy!

Lucky I have a couple of girlfriends staying with me this weekend so now we can celebrate with a bottle of champagne… or two… let's face it, it's going to get messy!

Bridesmaids!

I recently found out I was going to be a bridesmaids in my brother’s wedding next February. At first I felt pretty fine about the idea of wearing a bridesmaid dress and being in a wedding party and I didn’t feel like I would feel like the ‘fat bridesmaid’, but I am getting increasingly nervous now the event is drawing closer.

My brother and his partner announced they are moving back to Australia at the end of August and bridesmaid dress shopping is hot on the agenda. I am honoured and excited to be a bridesmaid, I am just scared that I am going to make dress shopping difficult for everyone else. The bride and other bridesmaids are all really skinny and I don’t think it would cross anyone’s mind that there are people that don’t fit into standard sizes. I don’t want to be the person who can’t fit into the standard size dress and ruins it for everyone, or even worse, has to get my dress special ordered. Of course the bride and the other bridesmaids are all lovely and wouldn't want to make me feel uncomfortable, I just don't want to spoil things for the bride.

I am on the cusp on a size 16 now (if the cut is generous around my mid-section) but to be confident going bridesmaid's dress shopping I would really like to be wearing a comfortable size 14-16. So that gives me about 2 months to drop some weight. I have no idea how much I need to lose, but I’m not focussing numbers, just eating well and exercising. There is no point aiming to get to a certain weight because I never meet my own expectations and end up feeling like a failure.

I am going to measure my weight loss against a dress that I bought earlier this year and I am hoping to fit into for my cousins wedding (which happens to be the day before my brother and his girlfriend fly back to Australia). The dress is currently too tight to zip up (I learnt this the painful way… with the zip getting stuck in my back fat) and it is a size 14 from Portmans. Weirdly enough I saw it recently the aptly titled movie Bridesmaids!

(pictures from here)

The dress from the movie Bridesmaids

The version I have of the dress with the black band around the middle

Weirdly enough, Kristin Wiig’s character wears another dress that I own in the film, except mine is a watermelon colour. 

 The dress from the movie Bridesmaids

 Me in the watermelon version of the dress and literally 3 times the size of Kristen Wiig!

So if and when I fit into my size 14 dress for my cousin’s wedding I will be feeling a whole lot more confident shopping for bridesmaid’s dresses with the other girls. I’ll be sure to post pictures of me (hopefully) wearing the dress in August and also report back on bridesmaid's dress shopping. Wish me luck.

Walking Contradiction

So as soon as I make big decisions and announce them on my blog, it is pretty much a guarantee that soon I will completely contradict myself. My latest about turn is in regards to my gym membership. So first I complained about how much I hated the gym. Then I cancelled my gym membership. Then I bought this piece of crap elliptical that doesn't work. Now I have decided to go back to the gym.

Let me explain... I purchased one of those cheap deals for a 3 month gym membership for $29. My last gym membership was $22 a week, so $29 for 3 months is an amazing bargain. The main problem I had with the gym (apart from laziness) was that I felt constant guilt if I didn't go to the gym because it was costing me so much. I am hoping I won't feel so much guilt and pressure about the gym if I don't have the financial commitment. I also figure that a 3 month membership is perfect timing because it will expire around the same time as my motivation.

AJ bought the cheap deal too, so it means we can go together and hopefully he'll drag my fat arse there when I try to make excuses not to go. We have also decided that we'll only go when it suits us, which is weekends, because that is when we have more time. I hate rushing home from work on a weekday to get changed, hurry through a work-out and then get back to organise dinner, shower and try to get to bed at a reasonable time. I enjoy working out so much more when I can take my time and relax.

So I plan to go to the gym 1 or 2 times on the weekends and keep doing my pilates class at work and I might even try the yoga class at work next week! That might not seem like a heavy exercise program, but for me that should be sustainable and enjoyable, which is more important to me than fast weight loss.

Unfortunately I had a couple of false starts with the gym... the past 2 Saturdays I was supposed to front up for my introductory session with a trainer and both days I ended up being too hung over to attend. I got my shit together this morning and had my first session and it actually felt good to get back into some sweaty exercise.  I wonder how long this will last...

Friday Fun Time

It's the Friday before a long weekend here, so I am feeling slightly distracted at work right now... I just went through my iPhone and downloaded some recent photos for my own entertainment.

AJ licking the chocolate dipping sauce out of the bowl at a restaurant. I had to take this photo to show him how much chocolate he had on his face.

Me wearing a poncho my brother sent me from Peru. I'm still not sure if this was a joke present or a serious present...

My attempt to eat sushi at work for lunch, I had to pick off all the rice and could only get the seafood inside down. I obviously don't try to eat sushi anymore...

Trying on a dress I found on sale at Myer. I almost wanted to get it just because it fit and it was cheap, but I don't think it was really me. Plus, where the hell would I wear a dress like that anyway?!

The bottle of wine my brother and his girlfriend sent me to work the other day for helping them with some Visa issue. Yum!

My legs after my laser hair removal session. Extremely painful, but worth it to never have to shave my legs again!

Me right now at work in my office. Couting down the minutes until 5.00 pm for a glass of wine and a 3 day weekend!

Lap Band Side Effects

For the last 12 months I just haven’t felt right. I have been tired, run down, depressed and just physically and mentally exhausted. I continue to lose extreme amounts of hair even though I am 2 years post lap band surgery. I pick up handfuls of hair from the bathroom floor, out of the shower drain and from my hair brush every day. This doesn’t bother me because I have very thick hair, but it is just so messy! Almost every day when my alarm goes off to get up for work I have thought about calling in sick because I just didn’t feel like I could get out of bed. For the first time in my life I learnt how to use the snooze button on my alarm and I became one of those people constantly rushing into work 5 minutes late. That is just not me, I have never in my life pushed snooze on my alarm and I have never been late for work. I just wanted to hide away from life and be left alone.

I was taking chewable multi vitamins but I never seemed to get any sort of boost from them. I do try to eat foods full of protein and fats to keep me going, but it just never seemed to be enough. Of course I am not perfect and I do eat a little too much chocolate and most weeks I’ll indulge in a decadent meal out or a take away at home. My typical daily menu looks like this (critique welcomed!):

Breakfast: oatmeal with skim milk and a cup of tea

Lunch: 2 boiled eggs and 2 pieces of cheese

Afternoon snack: dried fruit and nuts

After work snack: small bag of pop corn

Dinner: soup or casserole with lean meat, vegetables, lentils or legumes

Dessert: hot cocoa

I had spoken with 3 separate lap band doctors at my surgery about this and asked for advice, but they all dismissed me. The last doctor I spoke with said that I should talk to my GP if I felt like something was really wrong. So I spoke with my GP and said she really didn’t think that the lap band would be causing these problems because deficiencies are usually seen in gastric bypass patients and not lap band patients. She ordered tests anyway and, just as I suspected, they showed that I was anaemic and had a vitamin B12 deficiency.

I know this doesn’t sound too serious (and it’s not) but constant fatigue, weakness and depression makes life very difficult. I am now receiving a course of B12 injections and also taking iron tablets and after about a month I am starting to feel like my old self again. I don’t think I realised just how bad I felt until I started to feel better. I am cheerful at work, talkative and energetic at home, enjoying exercise and a much more positive person to be around.

So I guess the main reason I wanted to talk about this is because if you have a lap band and you feel like something isn’t right, chances are you might need some support from your doctor. It doesn’t have to be so hard and having the right balance in your body makes all the difference. I would love to hear from anyone else who has been in a similar situation and how you’ve dealt with it!

Transfer Addictions

You hear a lot about people that have transfer addictions when they have weight loss surgery and lose a lot of weight. Unfortunately weight loss surgery doesn’t heal the emotional problems we have that make us compulsively want to over-eat, so when we can’t do that anymore, we transfer the addiction to something else. For some people it is a relatively harmless shopping addiction, for others it can be more serious with gambling, alcohol or drugs. I think I have come up with a whole new category of addiction, a ‘lifestyle’ addiction!

I have spent my entire life obese and I was basically scared of life. I had no confidence and I thought I couldn’t do anything because my weight held me back. I was never one of those ‘fat and happy’, living life to the full, type big girls. I let my weight stand in the way of doing all the normal things that girls my age were doing, from playing team sports, doing my debutant ball, back packing Europe and getting my drivers licence. I made excuses not to attend my friend’s 21^st birthday parties, university pub crawls, winery days with friends, getting frocked up for a day at the races or fun spa days with the girls. It goes without saying that life was pretty miserable.

So now I am 50 kilos (110 lbs) down and I have become addicted to living life to the full. Now that I am not scared of life anymore I want to attend every event I am invited to, I want to try every new restaurant or bar in town, I want to go to concerts and dance all night, I want to attend fancy cooking classes, I want to spend weekends away exploring the countryside and plan exciting overseas holidays. I spend my lunch breaks at work googling all the places I want to visit, ogling menus of the lovely restaurants where I want to eat, looking up food and wine festivals in regional areas and planning holidays that I will never take.

Now this might not sound like a bad addiction to have because it’s all about embracing life and being happy. Wrong. My credit card has taken an absolute beating in the past 12 months. I was so excited to finally be living life that I made some very irresponsible decisions and lived a lifestyle that I can not afford, especially while I am currently making a lot less money that I am used to having. Sigh.

I’ve come to realise that just because I feel like I can do anything now, doesn’t mean I can afford to do everything! It’s hard because now that I have had a taste of life, I just want more. I know I just have to focus on some debt payments for the next 6-12 months and then I’ll be back on my feet again and planning the next big adventure. In the meantime I’ll be googling Parisian holidays and keep dreaming…