Over the past couple of weeks my weight has gone up and down like a yo yo, unfortunately it's more on the UP than on the DOWN lately... I have wasted so many hours wondering what I can do to gain better control over my emotional eating and the negative 'dieting' trap I fall into and I still have no answers. Then, in the space of five minutes, I just made three little phone calls that have alleviated some of this stress.
1. Called my lap band doctor for a fill appointment. I am pretty sure that eating 5 slices of pizza on Sunday night shouldn't be possible with a lap band. I have to stop looking for the easy way and admit that my band needs to be tighter, even though it may cause some awkwardness socially and I may not be able to eat all the foods I want to eat when I go out. If I can't control my binge eating myself, than I need the band to help me.
2. Called my GP for an appointment to discuss options to control my anxiety with medication. I don't think I have mentioned the anxiety problems I have because they are obviously very personal. Ever since I can remember I have suffered badly with anxiety and I have tried to control it myself because I thought that would make me 'stronger'. Lately I have felt at breaking point and I guess I have finally learned that it isn't weak to ask for help and I might be a better sister, daughter, friend and employee if I get some help. Earlier this week when I was up late and in an anxious and upset state I told myself that the only way to soothe myself right now was to put myself in a sugar coma... and it worked... but I know there are better ways to help myself.
3. Called my gym and cancelled my membership. This doesn't seem like it would be conducive to weight loss, but after 18 months of consistently going to the gym and 18 months of consistently hating every session, I feel I can now say with confidence that I hate the gym and I don't want it to be part of my long term health plan. I am now at the point where I am looking to find realistic ways to live a healthy life and this does not include the gym. I hope this doesn't come across as un-motivating to all you gym bunnies, the gym just doesn't float my boat.
I feel so much better already.