I do want to give an update on how things are for those of you who have been so kind as to enquire. My mum finished up her chemo and radiotherapy in the middle of August. Unfortunately she was too sick to complete the full course they had planned, she did the absolute best she could, but her body was too weak.
Over the past few months she has gained some strength back and is able to do a few things around the house and even occasionally accompany me to the supermarket or the gift shop she likes to look in. Unfortunately she is in a lot of pain and has breathing difficulties so even her best days are not exactly great. I am very grateful that we have had these last few months though because she was so sick after her treatment that we didn't think she would make it.
The doctors have not given us any hope that she could beat the cancer, but of course I keep hoping for a miracle. We have no indication of how long she has left but I hope she will be one of those people who can brag one day that "doctors told me I was going to die 6 years ago and now I am healthier than ever".
Dealing with my mum's illness and mortality has been such a devastating experience. It feels like I have been hit by a grenade and the world is just going on as usual all around me and no one understands what is happening.
It just feels surreal that everyone else's lives are going on as normal. It feels even more surreal when my own life goes on as normal and I am sitting at work doing boring paperwork or going to the races all the while the worst thing ever is happening and I can't stop it. It's like being in a living nightmare.
I really want to say more but just letting the thoughts enter my head is a bit much right now.
ps Writing this made me almost cry a lot and every time I was about to lose it I looked at this because it makes me laugh a lot!