I have been a bit of a misery guts lately, luckily my latest get fit attempt has given me a good laugh.
A bit over a month ago I saw a flyer posted advertising a cheap 6 week membership for C*rves gym in the little town I am currently living in while I look after my mum. I have never had a desire to join C*rves, but I thought it might be a good way for me to get some exercise in while I am here. I normally find that when I am exercising it helps keep me positive and have a better focus on eating healthy.
So I made an appointment to go in for a consultation to get started. From the second I walked inside the 'gym' I felt like I had been transported back in time. I almost turned around and walked out the door when I saw the equipment. It was so old that I wasn't even sure it was safe. Generally I find that one of the only fun things about the gym is the cool space age equipment. So that was strike one.
I met the extremely enthusiastic and sweet owner who was going to get me started. I let her know that I had a long and troubled history with dieting and exercise and I didn't want to diet or be weighed. I could see she was immediately thrown when I said I didn't want to be weighed because I don't think she knew where else to focus our consultation. I also said I wasn't there to focus on losing weight and I just wanted to exercise for health and fitness. Unfortunately the consultant seemed to have a set spiel and didn't seem to be able deviate from her script.
So I sat through all her helpful tips on walking 10,000 steps per day, drinking 8 glasses of water, eating less than 1200 calories and keeping a food diary. Then she made me choose a size I would like to be and measured me to tell me how many centimetres I needed to lose to achieve this size. Of course she also tried to sell me their diet plan that would really help me lose weight. I am not sure what part of 'I am not here to lose weight' that she did not understand. Strike two.
So I got past all of that and just wanted to get on with working out. For those that don't know, the concept is that you work out at a high intensity for 30 seconds at each station and the workout is complete in 30 minutes. I actually don't mind the idea of this because it takes away the pressure to do a crazy long workout. Also, I hate exercise, so getting it done in half an hour is awesome for me.
The workout space is very small and cosy and the staff like to get right up in your business to encourage you while you are working out. They are asking you if you have had your 8 glasses of water today, standing beside you at every machine encouraging you to 'push out' and the final straw for me was when they introduced me to the other girls so we could chat while we worked out. This whole scenario is my worst nightmare. I can't handle anything more than a smile and a 'hello' as I am walking in the door of a gym. Call me unsocial, but I do not want people hovering over me while I workout and I especially don't want to chit chat with strangers. Strike three.
I lasted 4 sessions before I just couldn't bring myself to go back. So it's back to the drawing board...