This week I have tentatively moved back to my apartment and gone back to work full time because my mum has got some strength back now that she has finished chemo. Unfortunately her health could go downhill any day so I am trying to make the most of her good days and get some work done and enjoy being home. The routine of normal life will be a huge help in regaining my health and fitness. I am just a mess when I am out of routine. Who knew that grocery shopping, cooking meals, going to work and being at home could feel so amazing!
It seems that the rude shock I got from the scales last week has given me the push I needed to try and get my health back on track. I am no longer in denial that my weight 'isn't that bad' and ready to do the work to lose the weight. I am really trying not to be too hard on myself for the massive gain over the past 6 months year... but that is much easier said than done!
While I was looking after my mum for the past few months I managed to get myself seriously addicted to sugar again. My mum had no appetite at all during chemo so I had the house full of high calorie treats to try and entice her to eat something... instead she lost 20 kilos and I gained 20 kilos!Almost ever single evening I would binge eat on sugars because I felt like I deserved it or even needed it because I was so stressed out or had a bad day or I was lonely or whatever excuse I came up with that day.
I knew I needed to have a bit of a sugar detox so I have completely eliminated sugar from my diet so my body can stop the intense cravings. My body is in serious hurt from this withdrawal and just wants to sleep and my legs feel like concrete. Does this exhaustion wear off eventually? I feel like a zombie right now... a very bitchy zombie who wants to eat chocolate!
I can't type anymore... too tired from lack of suagr...