First and foremost, I have to say that my body lift surgery was a 100% positive experience and it is honestly the best thing I have ever done for myself. I have written in great detail about my experience here, so if you are looking to learn more about body lift surgery hopefully I have answered all your questions (if not, feel free to ask). This time last year I was just so excited and hopeful for my life post-surgery and it is hard to reconcile those happy memories with how I feel now-- not just about my body, but my entire life.
The reason I am struggling with my feelings about the 1 year anniversary of my surgery is because I am disappointed in how much weight I have gained. I wanted this surgery so badly and I really did not think I would gain 20-25 kilos (44-55 lbs) in the year after surgery. Sigh. Everyone has been very generous and cut me some slack due to the horrible situation with my mum's illness and the stress surrounding it, but I am still massively disappointed in myself.
The weight I have re-gained has distributed itself all over my body, except for on my stomach, which remains quite flat. The bulk of the weight has gone onto my back and chest, with my thighs and arms also getting their fair share. I have never gained weight in these places before so at first it didn't bother me, it was actually a bit of a novelty, but 20 kilos later it is not so funny!
It has been a whole new experience getting used to being fat in totally different areas. I am not enjoying the cellulite on my thighs and I am quite self conscious of my rather large chest. There is just no hiding my size 20 E boobs! I feel like a complete stranger in my skin because nothing is the same anymore.
The only other thing worth mentioning is that I still feel quite numb around my scar. I can tell if something is touching me, but I can't really feel it properly. This doesn't bother me at all, but it does feel a little strange. I also feel a weird mix of numbness and dull pain on my hips/upper (outside) thighs when I am exercising. Once again, this doesn't bother me, but if I was a runner it would make life difficult because just running for the tram occasionally is painful enough.
I have tried to be as honest and open about this body lift process as possible, so that means some photos at 1 year out from surgery.
This photo shows the overhang I still have under my boobs that my surgeon wants to do another surgery to remove.
A close up of my scar on my hip, which I think has healed awesomely.
The back view of my scar and bum crack!
It gets worse, sorry for TMI... here is the front view!
I have finally managed to get myself back in the right head space to work on losing the weight again. I realise it took me about 6-12 months to gain the weight, so I have to accept it will take the same time to lose the weight again. As much as I would love to wake up and weigh around 75 kilos (165 lbs) tomorrow... no amount of wishing is going to help, just hard work.