It has taken me a while to write this, I tend to find denial works best for me, so having to say that was really hard. Anytime that I do think about it I feel a bit lightheaded and like I could pass out. So I guess that is why I am trying to ignore it for now.
Instead, I have completely thrown myself into getting my mum's new house comfortable for her. She didn't have much furniture so I went shopping and burned a hole in my credit card getting all new furniture to try and fill up the house. I also bought a new bed for me because I am getting too old and fat to sleep on the couch and I will be there quite a bit over the next little while. The most time and money was spent planting a front and back garden because it was basically a mud pit.
As you can see, I have a bad habit of trying fix problems by throwing money at them. It's especially bad because I don't have any money and I just get myself into all sorts of debt. I guess I just don't really care right now. I just want my mum to be happy and comfortable now she finally has a place to live. I am so thankful that I have been able to give her a home, it means the world to me that she can feel secure at a time like this.
I mostly wanted to write this post so I could thank those of you who left me lovely comments. I haven't really told anyone about my mum's illness yet, so your messages have been a great source of comfort to me. People can be so amazingly kind and I am so grateful for my blog friends.
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| Mum and I at my brother's wedding last year |
I have been reading and not commenting since you first talked about your Mom's diagnosis, I just haven't known what to say! You have been in my thoughts and prayers. ((Hugs))
ReplyDeleteI've been reading your blog for years, but rarely if ever comment. I just wanted to say I'm so sorry about your mom's diagnosis. She is so young, and it is very unfair. Take care of yourself, and do whatever you need to do to cope. I hope you have lots of quality time left with your mom and she outlives the doctor's estimate.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry :( I lost my mom way too young to cancer and it still makes me angry sometimes how unfair it is. You're being a great daughter, being there for her now. Cherish this time.
ReplyDeleteOh wow, I'm so very sorry. This is definitely not good news and I'm sure typing it all out was hard. Sending thoughts and prayers from afar...
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear about your mom. Hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteI wish I had something to say that could ease your pain!!! Thoughts prayers, and anything else you might need!!! I am so very sorry!
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely gutted for you and your family. Cancer is a horrible thing to have to deal with. Sending all my positive vibes your way.
ReplyDeleteRats. This is shit. Not even going to try to be diplomatic about that.
ReplyDeleteTully, you are an amazing lady. I realise how very hard it was to committ the words to the page. Don't forget to reach out to the Melb. Girls for a hug or just a yak. They think the world of you.
I'm guttered for you and your loved ones. Thoughts are with you Chick xx
Thinking of you big hugs from afar.....cancer sux....You are truly a wonderful daughter.
ReplyDeleteI'm so very sorry. That is a beautiful picture.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to read this. I really hope you can enjoy the time you have left with your Mom. I think most of us would do the same and try to make her surrounds as comfortable as possible. Times like this make you focus on the most important things. Take care.
ReplyDeleteOh love, the most important thing your mum needs right now is you. Your quality time, your love, your attention. All those store bought things are nice but they don't matter one iota in the long run. This is the time to cook cancer-fighting meals, take family photographs and share beautiful memories. My mum died so quickly we never had the opportunity to discuss her wishes...she didn't have a will...we didn't know what she wanted with her funeral. I took lots of photographs in those last weeks to scrapbook her journey and wrote down little things she said. One day I broke down at my mums' bedside and even though she was weak, she took my hands in hers and started rubbing them to comfort me. I closed my eyes to remember how it felt...how comforting it was...and just drank in that moment. Now when I am sad I close my eyes and try to relive that moment...it made me feel like a little girl again, that everything would be alright. I blogged about my beautiful mum here: http://roarsweetly.wordpress.com/2013/04/27/on-strength/
ReplyDeleteLove to you xo
Tully, my heart aches for you. I am so so sorry you don't have better news. It's a beautiful thing you have been doing for you Mum in terms of providing her a home & even more so now. biggest ((((hugs))))
ReplyDeleteCancer is so evil and awful. My thoughts are with you. I hope over the next few months or years you're able to, as much as possible (hard as it is), live in the moment and enjoy every moment you have together.
ReplyDeleteBig bear hugs!
I'm so sorry to hear your news :( I hardly ever comment here, but this is close to my heart - I lost my dad 2.5 years ago. We got five months from diagnosis. At a time like this, there just aren't any words. I know how much it helped me to talk to people who had been through the same thing - if you ever need an ear from someone who gets it please feel free to send me an email. Enjoy your time with your mum. Sounds like you are doing amazing things for her :)
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry that you and your mom are going through this. I lost my mom very quickly to cancer, and I'm so glad that I spent as much time with her as she could stand of me! You'll look back and be grateful that you're doing everything you can to be supportive and to make her comfortable. I'm sure she's very proud of you and loves you very much.
ReplyDeletei'm so sorry darling. your gift of a home to her is just beautiful. the gawler foundation might be able to provide u both with support at this time - http://gawler.org/
ReplyDeletethey are in Melbourne. have a look at their website to see if could be something that would help. much love x
Sending you love and strength.
ReplyDeleteI am so very sorry to hear this news. You and your mum will be in my thoughts. You know, your mum's life might not end up to be as long as it should have been, but she did experience one of life's greatest gifts -- a loving daughter to hold her hand. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteI'm so very sorry about your mum. You have done such wonderful things for her.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your Mum and your family. What you are providing her - a home and most importantly love is the most priceless gift. She must be so proud of you. Take care, kind regards Shelley the Lurker from Sunraysia.
ReplyDeleteI'm so very sorry to hear your news Tully. There are no words to make this better but the response here just shows how much support there is for you.
ReplyDeleteI hate to be so practical in light of such a terrible situation but did you know that if your Mum has any super then chances are she may have life insurance in her fund and they will pay the life insurance and super balance to her in this situation.
My thoughts are with you both xoxo
Kylie
Sorry to hear the sad news...but love the gift you are giving her, the most wonderful gift of all is love.
ReplyDeleteSending thoughts, strength and love to you and yours xx
So sorry to hear about the latest update on your mother. Sending you love and prayers. Cherish every moment.
ReplyDeleteLet me know if you want to catch up for a coffee and a break when you're down Geelong way...even if it's just to vent.
Spend every chance you get with your mum and make them happy times. Tell her how you feel and dont hold back.. share laughter and tears. I lost my dad suddenly almost 12 months ago now and I have so many regrets.
ReplyDeleteWhat you have done for her is a beautiful thing. I wish I had of been able to do it for my dad.
I am so, so sad to read this. I hope you have some amazing times together, ones to cherish. {{{HUGS}}}
ReplyDelete