Well not the Fat Bridesmaid, blogger extraordinaire, but I have been asked to be a bridesmaid in 2012. My younger brother proposed to his girlfriend while they were on holidays in Peru over Christmas and yesterday she asked me to be a bridesmaid. They aren't getting married until March next year, but I am still very excited.
I have only been a bridesmaid one other time and it was for my step-mum. She said for me to just find a dress in brown that matched their river-front wedding theme. I was at close to my biggest at the time (about 120 kilos) and couldn't find a dress anywhere. About a month before the wedding I completely panicked and ended up asking my mum for help in getting a dress made. She found a tailor in her area who made me a dress but the whole experience was pretty bad. The dress-maker didn't seem to think someone my size should have a tight bodice and she made it way too big. She also added straps when it was supposed to be strapless and she used the wrong side of the fabric and I ended up with this awful shiny satin dress. I couldn't really complain because while this was happening the dress-maker had a family tragedy and I obviously didn't want to make things worse for her. I was struggling with confidence as it was and that dress did not help the situation. Not an experience I want to repeat.
A few of my bigger girlfriends have told me some horror stories (that are much worse than mine) about being a bridesmaid. It can be a pretty traumatic experience for those of us that are bigger, from weight gain, unflattering dresses, catty bridal parties, cruel photographers and downright nasty brides. The great thing is that I know for sure that my (almost) sister-in-law would have asked me to be in her wedding party if I still weighed 130 kilos. Even though she is a petite little thing herself, she is completely oblivious to size and wouldn't care either way if I was a size 10 or a size 26.
So I don't feel like I have to panic and furiously diet so that I'm not the 'fat bridesmaid'. Though, having seen the other bridesmaids, even if I lost 20 kilos I would still be the fat bridesmaid... If the wedding was tomorrow, I would feel comfortable being a bridesmaid at the size I am now. That is not to say that I won't use the wedding as a little motivation to keep my weight loss efforts up of course!
When I was bigger, in sizes 18-20, I was in 4 weddings. Three times I was dressed in red (hello firetruck!) and 1 time in orange (hey Charlie Brown, here I am, the Great Pumpkin!). I was pretty angry at that time but then I thought "I could have said no, and they just wanted to include me in their day". So, don't be nervous, it's not about you, it's their day and they really want to include you and have you share in their happiness. 99.9% of bridesmaids will be dressed in a less than desirable dress regardless of their size anyway! Just know that you've come a long way from the last wedding!
ReplyDeleteI've been asked to be a bridesmaid at the end of the year in Tasmania, to my sz 8 Les Mills instructor friend :/ Scary....
ReplyDeleteI was a bridemaid late last year with two others - very skinny and blonde girls. God, it can be the worst feeling (which is just terrible, considering you are there to support a loved one!).
ReplyDeleteIt is great to hear your attitude towards the upcoming wedding!
My SIL to be asked me to be a bridesmaid for her, I would have defiantly been the fat bridesmaid making weird self conscious faces in all the photos.
ReplyDeleteNo thanks!
Good on you for being excited about it, its nice your SIL to be is supportive.
Congrats to your brother. I think your line that you would be ok being the bridesmaid tomorrow also shows your love n support for them.
ReplyDeleteWhen my sister got married five years ago, she asked me to be either a bridesmaid or the maid of honor (I really don't remember). Well, she and ALL her friends are thin and pretty, and the dresses were going to be either halter style or straps (no sleeves), and I was 250+ pounds. I turned her down because I didn't want to be memorialized that way. :(
ReplyDeleteI'm so excited she asked you! You're going to have lots of fun and will look absolutely gorgeous in whatever you wear :-)
ReplyDeletexxx
ps. I reckon you need to post some more photos of yourself and be a bit less modest :-) I don't think all your readers realise just how close you are to a "healthy" BMI now!