My selection of 'food' for the next few days.
Blending my first optifast shake this morning.
A few factors came together over the past few weeks that have resulted in a mammoth weight gain. A gain that is so bad that I am almost ashamed to say it out loud... OK, I will... 5 big fat kilos in 3 weeks. I went from a lovely 77.5 kilos on 11th December 2010 to a hefty 82.5 kilos 1st January 2011.
BIG FAT EXCUSE 1: I got an un-fill of my lap band and it meant I could eat all sorts of foods that I haven't been able to eat in 18 months. I would like to say that I didn't cave in, but instead I visited my old 'friends' Grill'd, Red Rooster, pizza and many other fast food acquaintances. I can't lie, it was fun!
BIG FAT EXCUSE 2: Then there was also my birthday, Christmas, summer holidays and New Years... cake, champagne, celebrating, more champagne, more cake, more celebrating. Need I say more?
BIG FAT EXCUSE 3: Hmmm, how do I say this without being dramatic. I had a minor meltdown. As much as it may seem like I am an attention seeking whore by posting pictures of myself all over this blog, I actually hate attention of any kind, and it causes me a great deal of anxiety. Turning 30 meant that everyone made a big deal of me and it sent me over the edge a little. I hate people buying me things, I hate people making a big deal over me or spending money on me. It actually stresses me out so much that I found the whole thing too much and I became overwhelmed with self hatred. Self hatred does not make you treat yourself very well...
I'm not sure how long I'll last on the Optifast shakes, it may not even be a full day, but whatever I can do will help. My lap band and my body need a little rest from having copious amounts of food shoved in it.