You gotta be rich to be insane, Hol. Losing your mind is not a luxury for the middle class.
-Movie, P.S. I love You
So I can't lie. This being homeless, jobless and broke business is a little bit less fun than adventuring around Canada, USA, and Mexico. I have to admit that I have been a little overcome with anxiety about what to do next. It turns out that real life doesn't fall into place like in all those chick-lit books I read by the pool in Mexico...
I really hadn't thought much about what I would do when I got back because I thought that either:
a) While I was travelling I would have a wonderful epiphany about what to do with my life while I was hiking up a mountain at dawn (guess I should have tried actually hiking up a mountain at dawn).
or
b) I would come back and my life would be like a fairytale and I would be offered a great paying, wonderful job and find a beautiful place to live and continue to lose weight without even trying.
So that hasn't happened yet...
I wanted to be brave and embrace the craziness of my life at the moment, but I really just want a little flat in the city where I can watch Masterchef, cook pots of soup, do my washing, complain about going to work, drink wine with my friends and snuggle into my own bed with the electric blanket and a good book. I thought I was much more glamorous than that, but right now I just want a normal life.
***Big sigh***
I stole this today from one of my favourite blogs, Too Many Cupcakes, because it got me out of my funk and reminded me not to be such a sad sack!
It is scray not to have things settled, but it is also a great opportunity for adventure and wonderful changes. I'm sure good things are heading your way!
ReplyDeleteI love the AWESOMENESS!
The anxiety comes so damn easy...one day at a time! It will come!
ReplyDeleteAwesome is a lifestyle. I understand where you are coming from, I felt the same way when I arrived in London and Sydney. You want to be able to relax, but at the end of the day, having a job makes everything more stable and routine-like.
ReplyDeleteIt must be scary but still kind of exciting not to have any roots! Put yourself out there and find that awesome job! First you get the $$, then you get the apartment, then you can make all the soup you like!!
ReplyDeleteEm :)
PS Barney is kick arse.
Good luck with the job hunting!!! Put on your princess tiara & go get that fairytale ending!!!!!! Seriously, I hope you find something soon!!!
ReplyDeleteI have been in a funk today too... luckily I don't eat when I'm depressed, I eat when I'm manic... One of the benefits of my depression...Lol, I am sorry about your struggle but I am sure things will start going your way soon... It's true, I read it in a fortune cookie that I wasn't allowed to eat. *Maria*
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ReplyDeleteI think the funk is pretty pervasive, and it's not easy going when you don't have a job to go to.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry the wonderful epiphany didn't come to you, they can be bitches like that, but sometimes these things don't come as a lightning bolt but instead as nurturing a few small ideas.
It sounds incredibly lame, but you have to give yourself permission to dream -- don't settle.
What's wrong with wanting a normal life? If that's what makes you happy, then why persue glamour just for the sake of it.
ReplyDeleteI hope it all comes together for you.