Tuesday, March 22, 2011

How Much Longer?

I am finding that the closer I get to the goal weight I set for myself, 65 kilos (143 lbs), the more confused I get about how much more weight I should try to lose. I just randomly picked the number 65 kilos because it sounded ‘skinny’ to me and it is a few kilos under my ‘normal’ BMI threshold. I have been obese my whole life so I actually have no idea what a good weight for my body would be.

Several times a day I go from thinking:

I must lose these last 10 kilos, and do it quickly, I must be skinny!

and then change my mind and think:

Oh my god, I am tired of dieting, the weight I am at is just fine.

Deep down, I guess I know that I want to get to 65 kilos and it is just laziness (exhaustion) telling me that I should stop at my current weight of about 75 kilos (165 lbs).

I think if my body wasn’t so distorted by my excess stomach skin and my weight was more evenly distributed over my hips, bum, boobs and thighs that 75 kilos would be a good weight. Unfortunately for me, at this weight I still can’t fit into most clothes, and even if they do fit, they cling around my stomach and are completely un-wearable.

I know that even if I get to 65 kilos that I won’t be happy with my body until I get the excess skin removed because I just can’t see past it. It really is becoming more of a physical and mental barrier every day and as soon as I pay off my debts and save the money I will be getting a tummy tuck.

Don’t get me wrong, I am happy to have the excess skin and will happily take this problem rather than weighing 130 kilos (286 lbs)!!! It is just really confusing in terms of setting weight loss goals and working out a good weight for me. I guess I don’t trust myself to know what is best for me anymore… Can you tell I am confused?


  1. Perhaps some advice from your doctor (or the clinic where you get your fill done) might help ease your mind with this & assist with your confusion???

    If you had your tummy tuck now, how much would it alter your weight & shape??? (I have no idea how much skin weights - please don't take offence!!!!!!) i'm not articulating very well, but hope you get my drift LOL!

  2. Hey Tully, I have read your blog for a long time but have never commented before. My name is Surrey and I'm 23 years old and live in NZ. I am your height exactly and just thought I should comment as I believe we have a similar body type. I have weighed in between 55 - 75 kilos. At 75 kilos I was probably a size 14 to 12 NZ depending on the brand. At 65 kilos I am a size 10, pretty much at 65 or about I feel good, anymore than 65 and I start to feel not me. Under 60 and I'm a size 8. Under 58 people tell me I'm too thin and look gaunt! I think a lot does depend on toning as well, seeing as I am naturally not a muscly person. Anyway that might give you some ideas as to what weight you wanna aim for.


  3. Hi Tully,
    I recently went and had a body composition test, and was very suprised that for my height (165cm) the exercise phys said to get to 69-70kg. It was great test, because it was exactly for me, it shows how much fat lean muscle etc. It also said how many calories to have, which is 1600, anything under 1500 my body is in starvation mode and isn't losing weight....
    i only commented on this, because you are taller than me, so maybe 65 kg is too small ?
    Sorry to add to the confusion...

  4. Just to put a positive spin on a frustrating situation - how awesome that you are only 10kg from your lower-than-heathy-bmi goal, and you are close enough to be debating your goal weight! OMG, that is amazing, and I bet not something you would believe two years ago! You have come such a long way :-) xxx

  5. You look amazing!
    I know exactly what you are going thru! Freakin head games...crazy ass! You will get there!

  6. I like what Cat was saying about the tummy tuck. Are you best just maintaining where you are and seeing what the excess skin is hiding? I also totally agree with B how awesome you are - gosh they are two clever friends to have :)

    ps. I had a body comp test done in Sydney a few years back. I probably could've used it more if I was in the right head space but if you like, next time we catch up I'll bring it so you can see it.

    There's an idea - weekend in Sydney!

  7. I am 165cm and I feel overweight when I am 65kg, but considering I'm 106.4 at the moment I would die to be at anything under 90kg!!

    I think Cat is right that you may need to have the excess skin sorted as it may be weighing a bit and when it's off you might find you're just right...


Awww thanks so much for the comment!