I am finding that the closer I get to the goal weight I set for myself, 65 kilos (143 lbs), the more confused I get about how much more weight I should try to lose. I just randomly picked the number 65 kilos because it sounded ‘skinny’ to me and it is a few kilos under my ‘normal’ BMI threshold. I have been obese my whole life so I actually have no idea what a good weight for my body would be.
Several times a day I go from thinking:
I must lose these last 10 kilos, and do it quickly, I must be skinny!
and then change my mind and think:
Oh my god, I am tired of dieting, the weight I am at is just fine.
Deep down, I guess I know that I want to get to 65 kilos and it is just laziness (exhaustion) telling me that I should stop at my current weight of about 75 kilos (165 lbs).
I think if my body wasn’t so distorted by my excess stomach skin and my weight was more evenly distributed over my hips, bum, boobs and thighs that 75 kilos would be a good weight. Unfortunately for me, at this weight I still can’t fit into most clothes, and even if they do fit, they cling around my stomach and are completely un-wearable.
I know that even if I get to 65 kilos that I won’t be happy with my body until I get the excess skin removed because I just can’t see past it. It really is becoming more of a physical and mental barrier every day and as soon as I pay off my debts and save the money I will be getting a tummy tuck.
Don’t get me wrong, I am happy to have the excess skin and will happily take this problem rather than weighing 130 kilos (286 lbs)!!! It is just really confusing in terms of setting weight loss goals and working out a good weight for me. I guess I don’t trust myself to know what is best for me anymore… Can you tell I am confused?