Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Monthly Weigh In

I had my official first day of the month weigh in this morning and I am now 113.5 kilos, having lost a total of 3.1 kilos for the month. This sounds ok, but given I lost 2 kilos in the first week of the month and I have been to the gym 5 days a week and only had one off plan meal for the whole month, I was a little disappointed. I set myself a goal to be 110 kilos by today and I really didn't get very close.

I have decided not to have numbers based goals anymore because it just leads to disappointment. My eating and exercise were pretty much 100% for the month, so I did everything possible to lose weight and I can't be disappointed at myself. I can't control the scales or how my body loses weight, so I won't be using that as a way to measure my success anymore. Instead, I will focus on whether or not I am exercising regularly and making good food choices. Not that I won't be checking in on the scales of course, I'm only human!

I probably set my goals a little too high last month, but it was mostly because I have to go to the UK for work tomorrow and I am terrified of the 24 hour flight. I am scared the seat belt will be too tight, that I am going to take up too much room and annoy my fellow passengers and that the tray table won't go down. As you can imagine, 24 hours is a long time to be in a tiny seat on an aeroplane for someone that weighs 113.5 kilos and when I think about it I start hyperventilating. Did I mention I am also afraid of flying and have claustrophobia? So this is pretty much my worst nightmare.

On top of this, I have to spend 3 weeks in the Oxford based office of my company and last time I was there I was at least 10 kilos lighter and of course I am paranoid everyone will notice. I don't know why I care if they notice I have gained weight, I don't even like them, but I still care. Can you tell that I really don't want to go on this trip?


  1. Hi there,
    I've been reading your blog for a bit now but thought I would say hi :)
    I was 113 kilos when I started my optifast to get the band in, and you should be ok re: the tray and belt. I was. Just try and relax and go with the flow and most of all, enjoy. You're going on a plane trip. That's exciting.
    Good luck with it all and look forward to hearing how it all went.

  2. You're doing great Tully! We are close to the same weight, and I think you'll find that the trip will be OK. You may not have dropped as much weight as you had planned, but I bet you have lost inches, and that makes a big difference on a plane, even if it's just an inch or two in the hips. Just keep on truckin girl!

  3. Just remember that this will be the LAST time that you have to worry and stress about seatbelts on planes and wonder if people will notice that you've gained weight!

    From what I've read, what you are going through with your weight this month is perfectly normal for new lapbanders. I understand that not much weight is lost until you get your first fill, and you've hit your "sweetspot" as they call it. I can empathise, after having surgery it's natural to be impatient and want the scales to move faster, but it will happen!!

  4. 16 kilos down in total Tully - that is awesome. Hope the trip isn't too bad and look forward to seeing you when you get back xx

  5. your weight loss is something to be smug-as-fuck about babes.

    you are a star.

    i agree to not put your goal down as numbers that rarey reflect the effort and improvements that are happening in "the background".

    why not try a wall calendar and for every day that you complete your workouts and eat well put a gold star on that day. at the end of the month you get mesmirised by the goldness and you can SEE how freakin' fantastic you have been.

    screw the scales!!!!


  6. Hey my sweet!! WOW!! 16 kilos ... you must feel awesome!! I am so proud of you!! ... Forget about the scales and go by your clothes ... that is a better indication!! ... We want progress pics too ... one a month on weigh in day!!
    I am so happy for you!!


  7. I can soooo remember flying and not being able to fit in the seatbelt..AND the toilet! So awful... I am sure you will be able to now though!
    Try to feel better about yourself, you ARE doing all you can to get the weight off. And them over in the UK probably won't even notice you have gained a bit of weight... Pffffft to them if they do anyway.

  8. You'll be fine, I've been around 120 kg plus and flown to both Europe (3 times) and the U.S. (many more times) and I've always been able to put the tray down and fit into the belt, no worries.
    I don't want to hurt you, but I don't think 10 kg look that much of a difference when you're already 100 kgs+, so don't worry about your colleagues. YOU feel the 10 kgs of course, but they probably won't notice it.

  9. I so want to tell you to feel bloomin fantastic about your loss, not to freak about the extra 10 kilos or the flight... but I know I think just the same way and having someone tell me otherwise never does a whole heap.

    BUT thing is, it's so true. You should be feeling bloomin' fantastic and I'm sure the flight will be fine, as for being 10kg heavier, I'm absolutely sure they won't notice. What they'll notice is your new found confidence with your new found healthy direction - I've no doubt that will shine out of you.

    Hope everything goes well in the UK.. tell it I miss it :-)

    Oooh and maybe I'll see you at the gym when you come back... I wonder if I'll recognise you, I'll try and remember to pop you a photo to your email that actually includes my face.

  10. Hey, 113 is fantastic. Like Cinders said- 16kg in total is amazing. Completely amazing. Sure, you didn't have quite the success you'd hoped for this month, but that will come :)

    Good luck with the trip, I'm sure the plane will be okay in the end, even though it'll be tough not to worry.

    If you happen to have any spare time, and happen to be in London sometime, let me know, we could meet for lunch. Mum's here from Saturday, otherwise I'd threaten to come to Oxford!

  11. Oh man, another person who's travelling when I'm on a self imposed "no travel" year. So totally jealous. Oxford - for three weeks! And it'll be summer!

    I understand about the horrendousness that is the plane, but it's only 24hrs, and then you get to spend 3 weeks in England. Oxford is beautiful, and with it being the middle of summer, you'll be able to get lots of exercise just exploring the city. And London's right there, only an hour away on the train. Please don't let the fact that you aren't the weight you wanted to be ruin what could be a fantastic trip.

    And yeah, I don't do well putting a timetable on my weightloss either. Really, anything 'down' is good, at least that's what I try to convince myself of.

  12. I know it must be frustrating to not lose faster post surgery, but as another commenter said I'm sure you'll lose faster once you've had a fill and you're still down a good amount without it! Good on you for staying so on plan this month!

  13. Tully, I echo the sentiments in all the above comments. You are doing it! You should be so proud of yourself!! Look at what you have accomplished and don't worry about what is to come.

    Tips for surviving that long flight:

    1. Bring a dvd player and a couple of movies with a headset.

    2. Bring a handheld video game.

    3. Pack a couple of books in your bag.

    4. And my absolute favorite flying tip: Be really tired before you leave so that you will sleep ALOT on the flight.

    Good luck!!


  14. Hey, you're still kicking ass! And I think changing your measure of success to actions rather than outcomes is a fantastic idea!

    I know you're not looking forward to the trip (that you're already on by now :D Sorry for the late comment), but I hope you manage to have a good time anyway!

    Take care!

  15. Hi there, you've done so well don't be so hard on yourself! These sort of things happen all the time. You'll be super good and see little results and then have an off week and lose heaps. It's weird and frustrating but you just have to keep plugging away at it.

    Good luck on the trip and try to have fun even if you're not looking forward to it!


  16. Just remember, muscle weighs more than fat! Focus on how you feel and how your clothes fit, not on the scale (those things are evil and we give them way too much control over our self-esteem). Keep up the good work! You'll be feeling fabulous soon! Can't expect to see real change until 6 weeks!
    PS, 24 hour flight and all, I'm jealous you get to go back to the UK

  17. I think you doing a great job. Maybe a break from the numbers based goals will be a good thing for you. :) Just keep up the eating right and workouts. You are rockin that. :)

  18. I just got back from the uk last month - when I went over a year ago killed myself getting into the trip - this time as I made sure I was first ish on the plane and asked them on the flight for a belt- that was the first haul and got a seat belt extender. Ive pretended in the past that Ive had it on and put a cussion on my lap so that only the strap [peeks] out.

    If you know your plane no your getting on - try and book your seat - I get the ile seat so that others in the window/central have to pass me and I dont have to pass them.I they arnt there sometimes towards the back of the plane there is seats of 2 - these have more room as well.

    x next time I fly I hope it wont be an issue!


  19. Hey lady, hope the plane trip was okay and that the UK hasn't been as bad as you feared. I think the fact that you've stuck so well to your plan is just fantastic, you should be proud of yourself... no matter what the stupid scales say! Are you taking measurements?

    Hope to see you when you get back!


  20. Firstly, well done on recognising yourself that the scales might not be the best measure of success. I really subscribe to the theory that if you can tick all the boxes and did the best you can then you've done well - if not it gives you something to improve on.

    As to the overseas trip - oh it's so easy for things to do our heads in - I hope that the flight wasn't too bad and that your fears of being judged were eased. You're on the road to success remember that - and instead of thinking about whether or not they notice whether you've gained 10kgs just imagine the next time you go when you could be 20kgs lighter!

  21. Measuring your success by how your eating & exercising are going is far superior to the scale.

    I hope your trip went well and wasn't as bad as you thought it would be.

    That being said, I would freak if I had to be on a plane for 24 hours!


Awww thanks so much for the comment!