Binge With The Band

Unfortunately you can still binge if you try really hard when you have a lap band... it just hurts a hell of a lot more!

I am in New Zealand for a couple of weeks doing a one-off freelance job for my old company and I am now 100% positive that I made the right decision to quit my job. The moment I got here I started stuffing my mouth with food, and if I am not eating, I am obsessing about eating.

I always thought I had a problem with controlling my eating while I travel, but I think my recent 3 month holiday where I only gained 2 kilos proves that isn't the case. It's not travelling that makes me want to overeat, it is unhappiness.


I have felt nothing but scared, stressed and inadequate from the second I started this job and when I travel the stress increases, the loneliness amplifies and the mini bar is free- which is a dangerous combination.


After this freelance job has finished I am so ready for a fresh start.

Tea & Crumpets

The only thing getting me through this bitterly cold Melbourne winter right now is lashings of hot tea and crumpets.

I saw a mouthwatering photo of crumpets on a food blog last week and got a hankering for a bit of crumpet myself (no dirty minds please!). Quite simply, there is nothing better than a crumpet with honey and a pot of tea on a cold morning. Or afternoon. Or evening.

30 Before 30 Update

In April 2009 I wrote a post where I outlined 30 things I want to do before I turn 30 on December 23rd 2010. Well it is almost exactly 6 months until I turn 30 and I really need to get moving or else on the 22nd December I will be madly sculling a bottle of Moet in high heels while trying to give myself a brazilian...


1. Be happy with my body
2. Get a job I love
3. Live all by myself
4. Get my drivers licence
5. Write a short story
6. Drink a bottle of Moet & Chandon
7. Travel to New York
8. Ride in a limousine
9. Take a pilates class
10. Get a Brazilian wax
11. Pay off my credit card debt
12. Go to an amusement park and ride a rollercoaster
13. Go skinny dipping
14. Spend over $500 on a must have piece of clothing or accessory
15. Wear high heels (successfully)
16. Spend an indulgent weekend at Balgownie Estate in the Yarra Valley
17. Get a radically different hairstyle
18. Buy designer sunglasses
19. Get a spray tan
20. Host a dinner party
21. Learn to ski
22. Give myself an orgasm
23. Buy myself an exquisite piece of jewellery
24. Eat the degustation menu at Vue de Monde
25. Buy salon hair products
26. Spend a day at a spa and wax, cleanse, exfoliate, moisturise and polish every inch of my body
27. Splurge on a concert ticket to a singer/band I really like
28. Buy La Mer face cream
29. Run The Tan
30. Take a class in something new and interesting (ie. cooking, dancing, language)


4. Get my drivers licence
Most relieved day of my life ever! I'm still a crap driver though.

7. Travel to New York
Me at 30 Rock. Love, love, love New York.

8. Ride in a limousine
I don't have any pictures of the limo ride, but the picture below is of me and AJ at the Grand Canyon because we got a limo to the airport, where we got a helicopter to the Grand Canyon for AJ's 30th birthday.

12. Go to an amusement park and ride a rollercoaster
Picture below is not the actual rollercoaster, but another ride I went on at Disney, but I did go on several rollercoasters!

Bored

So I clearly have nothing to do since I got back from travelling except blog... and eat...

I have to admit that I was sometimes jealous of some of you that don't work, work from home or stay at home with your kids. I'd read your blogs where you talk about eating scrambled egg whites for breakfast or grilled chicken salads for lunch and I barely had time to open a tin of tuna at work. I always thought how great it would be to have time to prepare meals like that instead of being in the office 12 hours a day.

So I can see the flip side of that now! I have too much time on my hands and I just want to eat to ease the boredom. I used to be so busy at work that I could go all day without having the time to eat, but now I have nothing but time on my hands to think about food. There are only so many cups of tea I can drink to keep myself from nibbling on all that chocolate I brought home from the US...

Luckily I am going back to get another fill in my lap band tomorrow, hopefully that will help keep me in line until I find something to keep my mind off food.

Help Needed

I just saw a post on the gorgeous Nicky's blog about a single mum who is trying to raise money to get to Canada to see her mother who has been diagnosed with lung cancer. She just wants to see her mum one last time and introduce her own son to his grandmother. 

My own mum is quite sick at the moment and I nearly lost her while I was overseas recently, so Sarah's story really touched me. 


My heart is breaking for Sarah, so if you can afford to help out, please do.


To find out how to donate click here.


xxoo

Long Road Ahead

I'm currently sitting at 92 kilos and feeling OK about it, but then I hear something that makes me realise that I have a long way to go...

While watching a footy show yesterday the commentators mention that one particular football player is 92 kilos and 'MASSIVE'.

*blush*

The Damage

So I got back to Melbourne on Tuesday and did my official post-holiday weigh in on Wednesday morning. The scales told me I was 92 kilos exactly, which is a gain of 2.2 kilos on my three month holiday (though I am using a different scale now, so it's not entirely accurate).

I'm actually quite happy with that result and I almost call it a maintain, I have gained more weight on a long weekend away, so 2.2 kilos isn't too bad at all. In fact, it is the longest period of time I have gone without losing or gaining weight since I was about 8 years old. My whole life I have either been on a diet and losing weight or binging and gaining weight fast!

I didn't feel deprived at all while I was on holidays, I was conscious of trying to make good decisions when eating, but I also ate whatever I wanted. There was barely a day that went by when I didn't eat fried food and chocolate, in fact it was difficult to find food that wasn't fried! I just kept my portions small and kept as active as possible and it all balanced out.

Since I have returned home I have been insatiably hungry! I went to The Avenue for a fill in my lap band on Wednesday and I thought that would help, but it doesn't seem to have made a difference and I am starving all the time. I am quite shocked at the amount of food I have been able to eat, it is like I have never had a lap band. I have booked in for another fill next week and I am keen to get this band working for me and having this restriction I hear other bandsters talk about.

I am hoping to get my band working and get the couple of kilos I gained off as soon as possible. I can really feel the extra weight and a lot of my clothes are uncomfortably tight and my bras are unbearable and I just want to rip them off by the end of the day. It's funny how any weight you gain above your lowest weight seems to sit very heavy and you can feel every extra gram...

Home Sweet Home

I arrived back in Melbourne this morning after a 20 hour flight.

After a 3 month trip that covered Canada, USA and Mexico I am home again.

Well, I don't actually have a home, my stuff is in storage and I am staying in a serviced apartment in South Yarra for 2 weeks...

I am so happy to be back in Melbourne, but so sad I had to leave my family.

Right now I am tired, jet lagged, confused, apprehensive and happy. I don't really know what to do next, but I know it'll be OK.

I had a meat pie for breakfast, a parma for lunch at my favourite Richmond pub and now Neighbours has just started on TV (WTF, Steph and Toady are getting married?), so I am feeling like I am back in the swing of things already!

***********

I spent the last week of my trip in a gorgeous house with my family in Tofino on Vancouver Island. My dad and step mum came over from country Victoria in Australia, my older brother and his girlfriend came from Vancouver, my younger brother came from London, his girlfriend came from Edmonton and me and AJ came from Mexico and we all converged for a crazy family reunion.

My brothers, me, dad and step mum on the ferry to Nanaimo

Older brother's girlfriend, younger brother, me and AJ in the hot tub at our vacation house in Tofino