Wednesday, August 03, 2011

I Give In

I am having some serious binge eating problems. I know, what’s new? I eat well most of the day, exercise a few times a week and then in the evenings I come home and dedicate my night to eating as much as humanly possible. Since I have a lap band, this can take me all night. I told you I was dedicated!

Sometimes eating normal food slows me down so I just eat ice cream. I ate 3 tubs of ice cream over the weekend… Burnt Fig, Caramel & Honeycomb on Friday night, Caramel, Date and Pecan on Saturday night and Honeycomb and Butterscotch on Sunday night. For your reference, the Burnt Fig, Caramel & Honeycomb was the best.

In my over-eating spree I have discovered a nifty trick for lap banders. When you eat too much and get food stuck, if you lay on your right side the food goes down. This was discovered after I ate way too much and had to lay on the couch to recover and magically my food popped right on down. I have tested this theory many times now and it almost always works. It’s just not really appropriate for those sticky situations at work or in restaurants!

So I decided to get a fill in my band yesterday in the hope that it will help me slow down my eating frenzy. I got .2 ml put in my band and I now have 6.1 ml in a 10 ml band. This is by far the most I have ever had in my band and boy can I feel it. Food is going down very, very slowly. I can’t tell if it is going to help with my hunger because I have not been able to get down enough food to actually feel full yet. I hope once the post-fill tightness wears off I’ll be able to eat my small bandster portions and feel satisfied. I have been hoping that for the past 2 years and am still yet to achieve it…

I know my binge eating problems are really nothing the lap band can solve, so it is up to me to do the work to try and get my eating under control. I have known for a while now that I should see a psychologist specialising in eating disorders, but I wasn’t ready to do it. I knew that I wasn’t willing to let go of the binge/starve cycle I have been living for the past 25 years. I thought that I would never lose weight if I couldn’t starve myself, but I can finally see that in order to ensure I am never obese again, I need to learn to eat normally.

I have lost and gained the same 5 kilos for almost a year now and I just can’t do it anymore. So I will let my doctor know that I am finally ready to see the shrink she has been urging me to see and hopefully learn some strategies to stop this vicious cycle.


  1. This is a big step for you, and I am REALLY, REALLY proud of you.

    Keep us posted on this.

  2. That's great news. Aside from having weight loss surgery, my therapist has been the most important tool in getting my weight under control. I too am a binge eater. I still struggle with it, but not on a daily basis anymore. I think it took me at least a year to mourn the loss of a real binge. I experienced such sadness after my lap band, I missed the comfort of the binge. It will get better, it's not easy but you can get there. You're worth the effort!

  3. Good for you, Tully! That isn't giving in in my book, it's a display of strength and courage.

  4. Be very careful i had same problem with binge eating in particular icecream etc, and well on tuesday i had to have my band removed due to a very strechted and distressed oesophagus. The lead up to this is exactly how you described i too ke got fluid thinking it would stop binges but only made my pouch worse and didnt stop the hunger. Binge eating with band will cause a pouch. I had my band for 4 yrs went from 1199kg to 75kg, and am now sitting at 80kg at 173cm tall.

  5. Great step to take. Good luck with it all. Take care and keep us posted/

  6. I've felt really sad watching you struggle and have wanted to give you some sound advice about the bingeing... but I know that advice is useless until you're ready to take steps yourself. :/

    This is definitely not giving in - it's sanity prevailing, and a brave decision. It might be a bit of a long and bumpy road, but you'll end up in a much better place.

  7. NO - you're not giving in: your ready to tackle the next thing. Good Luck! xoxo

  8. PS the maggie beer icecream looks devine....i want to try the quince one!!!


Awww thanks so much for the comment!