Monday, June 03, 2013

Sad Sad Sad

I had some awful news on Friday that has left me shell shocked. I took my mum to a follow up appointment at the hospital for her pneumonia and we were told that she doesn't have pneumonia, she has lung cancer.

I am taking her back to this hospital tomorrow morning for surgery and we will hopefully know more then. The only thing the surgeon told us is that he believes it is 'advanced'. That word makes me feel sick to my stomach.

The thing about this is that I feel like I have brought this on somehow. When I started building mum a house to live in a year ago I started to get anxious that something bad was going to happen. My mum has had a very tough life and she hasn't had a stable home for the past 17 years. She has battled a lot of illnesses and all she has ever wanted is her own home where she can feel safe and comfortable. Where she can cook dinner for us kids and build a home we can all enjoy as a family. She moved in a month ago and now this happens. This just feels so unfair.

I don't know what else to say about this except I am devastated and when I think about it my eyes well with tears and I can't breathe. The thought of my mum going through this pain hurts me so much. I just can't believe this is happening.

My two sister-in-laws and me (green antlers) and mum (red antlers) at Christmas last year




21 comments:

  1. Thoughts are with you Chick! Your Mum sounds like a fighter as are you so she has the best possible support crew on her side.

    Buying the house for her was beautiful. You helped her to realise her dream.

    Cry and be proud.

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  2. Oh sweetheart. I know how you feel. Regardless of how hard it is, do not let the grief consume you too soon. There are amazing things they can do to hold it off. My Mam's has not progressed in the 16 months since she started treatment. Cherish every moment, every second you have. Make lots of magical memories together. You will have them to cling to when you need them most.
    Much love. Xxx

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  3. So sad - thinking of you :(
    Important not to think that you brought this on - that is obviously not true.
    Best for the next little while - stay strong X

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  4. BIGGEST hugs to you Tully. The fact that it is operable is hopefully a good sign. I agree with Shona, it is a beautiful thing you have done for your Mum & regardless of her current situation I am sure she is so happy & proud of you. Will be sending prayers/positive vibes your way. Hang in there.

    xoxo

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  5. Tully! Sorry to hear about your mum. Loads of love to you and your family xx

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  6. I am so sorry to read this. Thinking of you and your family. xx

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  7. Devastated for you, too much of this happening, am experiencing this with a dear older friend, all I can say is never never give up hope, it's amazing how far advanced treatment is these days. I do hope your mum copes and that the operation will be successful . Best wishes from a long time follower!

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  8. Sending you love and prayers. So sorry you have to go through this...hang in there.

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  9. Sending love and prayers, chin up, stay strong.
    In no way is this your fault, you did not bring it on.

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  10. I'm sorry to hear the news and I'm thinking of you. Be brave.
    There are some amazing treatments out there xx

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  11. I am so sorry to hear about your Mum

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  12. I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. My dad was diagnosed with cancer out of the blue several years ago and I remember the awful, gutwrenching pain, the swinging between it not being real and not being able to breathe because you are crying so hard. And as hard as it may be to believe it isn't your fault.
    It is really positive that they are doing surgery. Best wishes for you and your mum to get through this together :)

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  13. Oh honey, it's not your fault! You sound like a wonderful, caring daughter. I am so sorry for your mom and your whole family. Cancer sucks. Try to think positively -- she may have many years left. Treatment has come so far these days. Take care of yourself so you can be strong for your mom.

    Sending cyberhugs to you.

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  14. OH NO! So very sorry to read this post Chick. Sending positive thoughts to you and your Mum...{{{HUGS}}}

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  15. Oh no... my heart breaks for you. I lost my father almost 12 months ago and I am still struggling. (I found him and it was unexpected) enjoy each and every day with your mum.. and help her through his hard time. Hopefully they can do something to stop this :(

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  16. Im so sorry that this is happening to you and your family. You are in my thoughts and I hope for a good outcome so your mum can enjoy her kids and her home for a long time to come. Cancer is an evil disease but mums are strong. Sending you hugs and hoping your mum beats it!

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  17. So sorry to hear, just awful news. Thoughts are with you and your family. I'm sure with all your love and support, it's going to help your mum put up a bloody good fight.

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  18. So sorry to hear about your mother. I can't imagine how hard it is to all of you. You are all in my prayers.

    In the words of Stephen Amell (Oliver, Arrow)...FUCK CANCER.

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  19. I am so so sorry! I will pray for your mom and for you! You are a wonderful daughter!

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  20. Tully, I think about you and your mum every day, and hope things are going ok. Please give us an update whenever you are able.

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  21. Tonight I stumbled across your blog while googling for weight loss inspiration. I was felt so sad to read this post because I lost my mum on Easter weekend to cancer. It was very unexpected and the cancer was very advanced...in fact two weeks between diagnosis and passing. It was awful and still is awful. My advice is to spend as much time with your mum...being positive...and loving her to bits. Sending you love and positive energy.

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Awww thanks so much for the comment!