Overeating

I have been on the Gold Coast for the past week for a work conference (yes the GC during school holidays- fun...). Anyone not familiar with the GC should know this is a coastal city with theme parks and beautiful beaches. I have felt like a goth walking around with my dark clothes, dark hair and pale skin. I look like a vampire compared to all the beach babes here. I don't think my self esteem could take living here!

This trip has hammered home a few issues for me. The biggest thing I have learnt is that I should not have a job in which I travel because I have a problem with overeating. This has been a very boring trip and all I think about is what I am going to order for breakfast or dinner. You'll notice that I skip lunch, that is because I often eat so much for breakfast that I can't eat lunch.

I always arrive with the best intentions and often get through the first day ok. Then by day two I break because there is so much delicious free food and alcohol being thrown at me and I just can't say no. I have had this problem since I was a little girl. I have had food restricted from me for so long that when an opportunity arises to indulge, I can't stop eating. When I was young this used to be at birthday parties, sleep-overs or school camps. Then when I went to uni I gained a stack more weight when I realised I had the freedom to eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Since then it has been an on-going battle.

Last night a group of people I met during the conference were going out for dinner, but instead I wanted to hole myself in my room and order room service. At one point I decided that I really felt like some take away so I went for a walk to get some dimsims and of course, mid-dim sim I ran into the people that I had declined to go out with because I was 'too tired'. I made a lame excuse and left, but it didn't stop me. I then went and ordered a large meal from Oporto and went back to my room to eat it. I was pretty full, but an hour later I decided I wanted (not needed) something else. I couldn't possibly eat a full meal so I ordered some bread and dips and profiteroles for dessert from room service. I was so full by the end of the night that I couldn't sleep. I lay in my room feeling hot and full and revolting for half the night.

I am really embarrassed to write this post, but I am hoping that it will make me face up to this problem. To be honest, I am not really sure the best way to conquer it, every time I think I am getting there I lose the plot again.





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Thanks for all the supportive comments I got after yesterdays post on money and family. I have written off the debt because chasing it is too upsetting. I agree that you should never lend what you can't afford, that is something my dad always told me, but now I have learnt my lesson. As difficult as it is to lose the money, it is the situation that is by far the most upsetting.