'Tis The Season

I always hate this time of year because I have a crazy family, not funny crazy, but lunatic crazy. My mum has already told me she's taking the tree down and that I shouldn't bother coming home for Christmas, so who knows how Christmas will go this year. The fun never stops!

Anyway, I have a very bad pattern of weight gain around this time of year because this craziness drives me into a vat of ice cream and this year is looking no different. I feel so puffy and bloated from way too much eating and drinking and I just can't seem to stop. My clothes have already stopped fitting me and just looking in my closet makes me depressed. I am thinking I might need a mini detox after Christmas, just so that I can face the scales in the New Year. I am seriously considering a few days of optifast, but I am not sure I have it in me to drink that shit. If only there was a Sauv Blanc detox diet...

AJ and I were watching an old episode of 30 Rock the other night and a scene came on where Liz Lemon is watching TV, wearing a 'slanket' and eating a plate of cheese in the middle of the night. AJ looked at me and asked if perhaps I could see any similarities between myself and Liz Lemon in that scene... Then five minutes later, in the worst case of timing, I happen to be eating a Magnum ice cream in my dressing gown and the whole ice cream falls off the stick onto my chest and arm. I don't have any free hands to clean it up because I am holding the stick with one hand (which still has a little ice cream on it) and my other arm has a chunk of ice cream sitting on it, so I have to ask AJ to help get the ice cream off me. Not my finest moment.

I then despair that I will have to wash my dressing gown now and AJ says: "isn't that like the third time this month that this has happened?". I actually think it might be the fourth time...

Oh dear... I think I need to get out of my dressing gown, put away the ice cream and get off the couch.