Tuesday, December 21, 2010

'Tis The Season

I always hate this time of year because I have a crazy family, not funny crazy, but lunatic crazy. My mum has already told me she's taking the tree down and that I shouldn't bother coming home for Christmas, so who knows how Christmas will go this year. The fun never stops!

Anyway, I have a very bad pattern of weight gain around this time of year because this craziness drives me into a vat of ice cream and this year is looking no different. I feel so puffy and bloated from way too much eating and drinking and I just can't seem to stop. My clothes have already stopped fitting me and just looking in my closet makes me depressed. I am thinking I might need a mini detox after Christmas, just so that I can face the scales in the New Year. I am seriously considering a few days of optifast, but I am not sure I have it in me to drink that shit. If only there was a Sauv Blanc detox diet...

AJ and I were watching an old episode of 30 Rock the other night and a scene came on where Liz Lemon is watching TV, wearing a 'slanket' and eating a plate of cheese in the middle of the night. AJ looked at me and asked if perhaps I could see any similarities between myself and Liz Lemon in that scene... Then five minutes later, in the worst case of timing, I happen to be eating a Magnum ice cream in my dressing gown and the whole ice cream falls off the stick onto my chest and arm. I don't have any free hands to clean it up because I am holding the stick with one hand (which still has a little ice cream on it) and my other arm has a chunk of ice cream sitting on it, so I have to ask AJ to help get the ice cream off me. Not my finest moment.

I then despair that I will have to wash my dressing gown now and AJ says: "isn't that like the third time this month that this has happened?". I actually think it might be the fourth time...

Oh dear... I think I need to get out of my dressing gown, put away the ice cream and get off the couch.


  1. Is it wrong to laugh?

    I'm so sorry you have such a nutty family. Be proud that you've risen above that!

    Your food behaviors have served you well in the past and it is natural to reach for them again when you need comfort and peace. I am confident you'll figure out ways to cope without using food. It takes time, but is worth the effort.

  2. I'm currently on the sav blanc/shiraz viogner detox & it's not helping LOL!!!!

    Plumbing Boy spills food on himself ALL the time. Usually in public so I think it is very fine indeed to spill food on yourself from the comfort of your own couch :0)

    Hope your Mum chill's & your christmas isn't to tragic!!

    Cheers Mate!!!



Awww thanks so much for the comment!