Wednesday, February 09, 2011

Cloak of Invisability

I recently followed an old friend on twitter and in response to my profile picture she sent me a message saying that she thought I looked great and that I looked like Christina Ricci. Firstly, that is a very flattering thing to say, but unfortunately it’s not really true, it was just the angle of the photo. But, what struck me was that this is the first time in my life that someone has ever said I look like anyone. When you are obese, no one ever compares your appearance to a famous celebrity or even to fellow family members.

My photo on twitter

My dad’s family love comparing people to other family members, constantly saying that such and such has this cousins smile or the family nose. No one ever said I looked like anyone in my family and I assumed that people would be insulted to be compared to me in looks. Once someone said, I guess you look more like your mum. At this time, my mum was overweight and I got the strong impression that I was being likened to her only because of my weight, because I actually look much more like my dad.

I once had an awkward moment at a work training day where everyone in the group had to introduce themselves and then say which celebrity they most get compared to. Never mind that I hate those stupid ‘get to know you’ things with a passion, but I just didn’t have anything to say. I was at my biggest and I just couldn’t think of anyone to say without looking like an idiot. Was I supposed to just say a famous woman who is fat, because at that time I felt like that was all people saw in me? I panicked and just didn’t answer the question. The trainer kept pushing it and eventually left me alone when she noticed I had gone bright red and was very flustered.

The thing is, I couldn’t care less if I was compared to someone as gorgeous as Christina Ricci or even if it was a less flattering comparison. It was just nice to feel seen for once. Since I have lost weight it feels like the cloak of invisibility I have been wearing my whole life has been lifted. It has been a weird experience as I get used to people striking up a conversation with me in the elevator or holding the door open for me or even just looking me in the eye when we speak. I actually find it quite terrifying as I am quite shy, but I am slowly getting used to being seen for the first time in my life.

7 comments:

  1. I think you are MORE beautiful than Christina Ricci! You are radiant!!!

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  2. I agree with Kerri- you are much more beautiful than Christina Ricci!

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  3. it's weird isn't it. i used to notice that men would glance away quickly in case i ate them or thought they were interested. being overweight is an awful experience. you really end up feeling invisible. i'm so glad those days are behind you :)

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  4. I agree, you are SO much prettier than Christina Ricci!

    It's so sad that overweight people are treated so badly - I've had so many similar experiences to you. Thank goodness you don't have to feel that way anymore! Much better to feel shy and a bit embarrassed than invisible :-)

    xxx

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  5. I know what you mean about the Invisibility Cloak. Just losing 35 pounds has people looking me more in the eye when they speak to me...it's odd. I got used to the anonymity too. And I agree with everyone else, you're a lot more gorgeous than Christina Ricci--camera angle or not!!

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  6. I know how you feel......but please consider yourself a beautiful strong woman....each day of your life.

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  7. That trainer should have been slapped around the head. What a stupid point to push.

    You should have said Whoopi Goldberg or something equally improbable just to show her her place!

    LJ

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Awww thanks so much for the comment!