Every Weekend Should Be A Long Weekend...

THE GOOD

• Having some wonderful family time
• Lots of fantastic food and wine, so, so much food and wine...
• Spending my days laughing till I cry with AJ
• Going to bed without setting my alarm
• Day tripping to the Yarra Valley and Hanging Rock
• New boots
• Listening to Adele and Joni Mitchell and singing very loud and bad
• Football- Go Cats!
• Chocolate
• Never Let Me Go, a fantastic movie
• Every moment of the five day weekend

THE BAD

• Breaking my tooth on Easter Sunday, it seriously impacted my chocolate eating abilities
• Waiting all day for a delivery that didn't arrive until 6.30pm. So angry
• Spending way too much money on a spur of the moment shopping trip. Whoops...
• The Canucks going down in flames, seriously, WTF?

THE UGLY

• A disgusting late night pizza delivery from Dominos. Ugh, triple cheese pizza is not good at midnight...
• Going back to work blues

Walking through the Toolangi State Forest. I pinched AJ's jumper because it was so freezing cold.

The spectacular Toolangi State Forest.

Lunch at Coldstream brewery. Police were out the front breath testing so I took one for the team and did all the drinking while AJ drove.

Looking boobalicious at Dominique Portet winery in the Yarra Valley for a tasting of their new cabernet with chocolate mousse- delicious!

AJ soaking up the sun out front of Dominque Portet winery.

Making Easter chocolates for my family.

Getting ready to go out to dinner at a lovely Italian restaurant called Sarti, but the purpose of this photo is to show off my new boots. This is the first time I have bought boots without the term 'wide calf' on the tag.

AJ at the comedy festival. We saw Mark Watson who literally made me LOL.

AJ called out to me from upstairs, I didn't realise he had a camera so when he first called out I pulled my dress up as a joke and then looked up to see the camera- whoops. Lucky for you I am not posting that photo!

Putting the final touches on the Easter treats I made for my dad in the car park before lunch at the gorgeous Tellers in Mooroopna. I ate the most magnificent duck cassoulet, the best meal I have eaten all year.

Dessert on Easter Sunday at my mum's.

A good friend is currently in New York, so I took a photo of me in front of my NY picture in my room to try and transport myself back to New York with her. I miss you New York.

Walking through Hanging Rock, wow, what an amazing place. I first watched the movie Picnic At Hanging Rock about 15 years ago and it scared the crap out of me and being there still felt incredibly creepy.

Me and AJ walking up Hanging Rock and getting quite a sweat on, it was so freaking steep!

Lunch at a lovely restaurant in Kyneton called Mr Casrsisi.

AJ with a extravagant dessert plate at Mr Carsisi, I have to admit, I ate most of it...

An afternoon stroll through the gorgeous town of Kyneton.

Watching the Cats win the footy with a glass (actually a bottle) of champers on Tuesday evening.

New Focus

I was reading Russell Brand’s book, My Booky Wook, the other day and a passage I read gave me chills. He talks a lot of his drug addiction and the way he describes giving into it really resonated with how I feel about food.

The moment when you decide not to try any more is always such a relief with an addiction… that ‘Ah, fuck it’ moment, there’s some sort of beauty in that ­­­– maybe even more so than in the drugs themselves. There’s something about the collapse, the yielding; it’s giving into death I suppose, but it kind of makes you feel at ease.

I do still feel like it is an effort in every moment, of every day to not binge eat. Lately I haven’t been strong enough to fight it and I have experienced that ‘ah, fuck it’ moment more than I care to admit. It really is the one moment of calm I feel in between the constant strain to not overeat and the inevitable post-binge guilt.

Realising over the past 6 months how bad my emotional eating is makes me feel like such a lap band failure. I feel bad to talk to my lap band doctor about how hard it is because they don’t want to hear that the lap band isn’t solving all my problems. I feel bad that I am not like everyone else with the lap band that forgets to eat, doesn’t obsess over food and doesn’t overeat.

I have spent the (almost) 2 years that I have had the lap band trying to lose weight and I lost focus on my mental and physical health. I still have more weight to lose, but for now I might need to take a break from ‘dieting’ and just try to work on my health and happiness. I’m sure my upcoming 6 day Easter weekend and the abundance of delicious Easter candy won’t make that difficult at all…

Weekend Away

A couple of weeks ago AJ and I went on a weekend away for his birthday to Mount Beauty. It was a very decadent weekend staying in a gorgeous Swedish chalet with an indoor and outdoor hot tub and plenty of food and wine.

I wish every weekend could be spent tasting wines, eating at lovely restaurants, playing scrabble, going on nature walks, watching DVDs and soaking in the hot tub. Why can't I be rich and famous and live the good life all the time?!

Don't even try and guess how much weight I gained on this 4 day weekend... more than you could even imagine. It was worth every delicious calorie though!

Now be prepared to be incredibly bored by my holiday snaps...

Enjoying a quiet breakfast on the balcony. I wish I started every day like this, but my balcony at my apartment isn't quite as serene with the trams and construction workers etc.

The view from the balcony of the chalet.

AJ playing with his new toy and completely ignoring our spectacular surrounds.

A walk around Mt Bogong.

Me and AJ posing at a stream in Mt Bogong. AJ after seeing the photo: 'crap, I forgot to do my hair'

Pretending to act normal in the freezing conditions of Falls Creek. We got out of there pretty quickly before our body parts started freezing off. It'll be nice to go back in winter when it's snowing and I have a jacket!

Heading to a local winery in Mt Beauty to warm up.

Delicious antipasto platter for lunch.

Sculling my wine in order to drink my platter of beer.

What happens to AJ when he drinks too much wine in the afternoon.

OK, so I may have had a little too much to drink too... but the purpose of this photo is to get excited over the hotel robe fitting me! I used to hate it when I stayed nice places and the plush robe would never fit me. Not the best photo of me though!

Drinking wine in the hot tub on the balcony (picture taken from inside chalet), I am wearing bathers, despite what it may look like in this picture.

Walking through Bright before having dinner at a lovely local restaurant. Right before I ran into a girl from work at a wine bar and while introducing her to AJ I forgot her name. Super embarrassing!

AJ trying (and failing) to take a photo of us together with the camera timer. I like this photo better anyway, much more natural!

An early morning walk to the gorge behind our accommodations in Mt Beauty.

The stream at the gorge in Mt Beauty.

Second breakfast of the day at the Butter Factory in Myrtleford. With so much good food to eat, sometimes doubling up on meals is required.

AJ wondering if he can get through this massive pancake (after already eating an earlier breakfast). I happily gobbled down my milkshake and home made crumpets for breakfast #2...

Cheese tasting at the Milawa Cheese Factory- Yum!!! I'm dying to go back to get more cheese and try their pizzas.

Brown Brother's Winery in Milawa. I have wanted to go here for ages, Brown Brother's was always the wine my family drank when I was growing up and it has been one of my favourites too.

Overwhelmed by all the delicious wines to try. You can see from my face that I am taking this seriously!

AJ with our stash of wine to take home.

All that wine tasting built up an appetite, so off to the Brown Brother's lovely restaurant for a long boozy lunch. I can't believe how many photos AJ took of me mid-bite. God I eat a lot!

Enjoying watching the sunset back at the chalet. Oh god I wish I was there right now...

Playing scrabble... I couldn't work out why AJ kept putting down stupid short words, turns out he had almost all the letters for 'vagina' and was holding off to get the 'N', which did not make for a good game. I guess I can't talk, I was responsible for a certain 4 letter word starting with a C. Blame AJ for the gonads though...

Driving around the area and stopping in the lovely little town of Yackandandah.

Me in the middle of the quiet street at Yackandandah. AJ managed to miss most of the scenery that was behind me from the photo, but oh well...

AJ posing with a horse trough in Yackandandah. He was excited to see this and then we saw about 100 more through out the day... not so exciting anymore...

The gorgeous town of Beechworth. I grew up near here, but didn't really appreciate how lovely it is until you leave and come back.

AJ and I in Beechworth.

Me unable to contain my excitement at buying sweet treats at the Beechworth Bakery. Of course I got a beesting... among other bakery treats as well.

AJ with his treats from the Beechworth Bakery. He has been the Beechworth Bakery in Healesville, Bendigo and Echuca and was very excited to try the original.

The BEST fish and chips I have ever eaten. I'll be making the drive back to Beechworth again soon to get more! Seriously, this was gourmet fish and chips.

AJ in heaven with the delicious fish and chip picnic lunch. 

Me saying that 'No, I am not straddling that cannon'.

Of course AJ has to straddle the cannon. Can you believe he just turned 31, such a child...