Monday, April 16, 2012

Let It All Out

God I have been really gloomy on this blog lately. I haven't lost weight in a very long time and I haven't taken care of my mind or body. I have struggled with negative thoughts and feeling helpless about a lot of situations in my life. I am sick of feeling this way and I am sure everyone is very sick of hearing about it!

Last week in particular I was feeling overwhelmed by feelings of anger and resentment. I can honestly say I have never felt like this in my life because I have never allowed myself to be angry. I tend to try to keep things nice, not make a fuss or upset anyone. I have never raised my voice or had an argument with anyone in my life. God forbid I feel any real emotions.

Now I don't want to be an angry person, but I think that allowing myself to feel angry last week really helped. I acknowledged that life isn't fair sometimes and I have the right to feel angry at the way I have been treated and the situations I have been put in. I felt angry about things that have happened last week, things that happened last year, things that happened ten years ago and things that are going to happen in the future. I came on this little blog and had a rant and I felt the relief that comes with sharing your problems and letting your anger out.

I don't want to harp on the negative or wallow in my anger and self-pity because I know that won't help either. I'll keep trying to work on my attitude to get back to a place where I have a will to succeed and be happy again. I have gone almost a week without a binge now and I even went back to the gym for the first times in months over the weekend. I am still quite some way from feeling like my old self, but if I can just take it bit-by-bit, I am hoping I will get there eventually... Meanwhile I am watching The Voice and it's almost making me cry so maybe I am going too far with this touchy feely emotional stuff!


  1. Great to hear you are back, even if it is just The Voice talking. Lol
    I think we ae very similar- i am very easygoing and generally pretty calm and balanced. What this also means is that when I do have strong emotions, I dont quite know how to let them out.

    Being angry sounds wonderful, I know that sounds silly but I would just love to get a bit aggressive and have the same feeling you have now.

  2. It was so much easier being the happy, fat girl hey? I feel like that too and continually struggle with finding the "new me" that is emerging from behind the podge.


Awww thanks so much for the comment!