Last week in particular I was feeling overwhelmed by feelings of anger and resentment. I can honestly say I have never felt like this in my life because I have never allowed myself to be angry. I tend to try to keep things nice, not make a fuss or upset anyone. I have never raised my voice or had an argument with anyone in my life. God forbid I feel any real emotions.
Now I don't want to be an angry person, but I think that allowing myself to feel angry last week really helped. I acknowledged that life isn't fair sometimes and I have the right to feel angry at the way I have been treated and the situations I have been put in. I felt angry about things that have happened last week, things that happened last year, things that happened ten years ago and things that are going to happen in the future. I came on this little blog and had a rant and I felt the relief that comes with sharing your problems and letting your anger out.
I don't want to harp on the negative or wallow in my anger and self-pity because I know that won't help either. I'll keep trying to work on my attitude to get back to a place where I have a will to succeed and be happy again. I have gone almost a week without a binge now and I even went back to the gym for the first times in months over the weekend. I am still quite some way from feeling like my old self, but if I can just take it bit-by-bit, I am hoping I will get there eventually... Meanwhile I am watching The Voice and it's almost making me cry so maybe I am going too far with this touchy feely emotional stuff!