Tuesday, April 28, 2009

I Won't Miss..


*Just to remind myself why I am doing this*

~ Not being able to reach my toes to paint my toe nails
~ My stomach sticking out of the water when I have a bath
~ Being scared to sit on chairs in case they can't hold my weight
~ Constant back aches
~ Not being able to fit into the biggest size in plus size shops
~ Feeling uncomfortable eating in public
~ Sweat rashes under my stomach
~ My feet aching when I have to stand for any length of time
~ Thinking that every bad things that happens to me is because I am fat
~ Wearing bras that are way too small and roll up my back
~ Plane seat belts not fitting
~ Having no neck
~ Cringing when I see myself in photos
~ Feeling like an elephant during sex
~ Being the 'fat friend'
~ Chaffing
~ Not being able to cross my legs
~ Getting tired and out of breath when walking and hanging out with friends
~ Making a stealth mission out of getting out of the pool so no one sees me
~ Apologising for my existence
~ Being unable to find appropriate clothing in my size for an event
~ Constant fear I will be too heavy/wide/fat/unfit to do something
~ Not being able to bend down to shave my legs in the shower
~ Getting unprovoked weight loss advice from people I hardly know
~ Being worried that work clients and colleagues think badly of me because I am fat
~ Being too fat for amusement park rides
~ The effort it takes to get off the couch at the end of the night
~ Being too unfit to enjoy myself on holidays
~ Feeling like an embarrassment to my family and friends
~ Not being able to wear jeans
~ Being too fat to sit comfortably in a booth at a restaurant
~ Wearing ugly underwear
~ My stomach getting in the way when I have to bend over to pick something off the floor
~ Being the fattest person in the room
~ The gown at a day spa not fitting me
~ Self hatred
~ Buying over-priced clothes (that I don't even like) just because they fit
~ Rude comments and ridicule about my size from strangers in the street
~ Being scared to meet new people because I think they won't like me because I am fat
~ My stomach being bigger than my boobs
~ Binge eating in secret
~ Not being able to shop with or share clothes with friends
~ Being embarrassed when having to write down my weight when I donate blood
~ Feeling like I am not entitled to have a seat on public transport because I take up too much room
~ Being overly sensitive to any comments or looks made at my direction
~ Having every doctors visit come back to being told I need to lose weight
~ Feeling anxious and scared all the time
~ Being above the recommended weight on most exercise equipment
~ Feeling older than my age
~ Seeing other people feel embarrassed for me
~ Feeling too self conscious to dance at clubs
~ Not being able to squeeze between two cars in a car park
~ Being too fat for a towel to wrap all the way around me
~ Feeling like I deserve less or that I am stupid because I am fat


  1. Now print that off -- multiple copies. One goes on your fridge, another in your car, another in your purse, and one on the back your bedroom door or on your bedside table -- wherever the first place you look in the morning is. Read it morning and night until you begin to believe that you don't deserve any of those negative things in your life anymore.

  2. OMG...Me too!!! Although some of those still apply to me I am looking forward to eradicating them from my life forever.

    Amen sister!

  3. Great post!! Your body deserves to be treated well, and slowly those negative thoughts we carry about with ourselves will vanish... you go girl!

  4. I love your post! I have faced many of the same fears & am working on overcoming them with weight loss & self improvement.

  5. Fantastic list Tully... We have all been there and still are there too...
    Love you post on laughter too... always feel good after a good laugh...

  6. I understand and have felt most of those things. Personally, I have found that negative motivation doesn't work well for me, at least not in the long term. It seems to me that this is a list of all the negative things you associate with your weight. Second, I have discovered that the number on the scale doesn't determine my happiness and confidence. If I am fat and miserable when I lose weight I will be skinny and miserable. Obesity is NOT the disease. It is the symptom. Until I learn to deal with what is going on inside, I will never be happy.

    Perhaps you have already done this, but I have found that another helpful list to make is to write out all the good things about myself including my body. Add to that list all the good things you have in your life. Add to that all the things you look forward to (avoid the vanity things like fitting in a size 1 slinky black dress). When you have finished, you will have a list of the reasons to live a healthy lifestyle. For me this has been a powerful list that is not based on a scale number, a clothing size, or negative motivator, but positive reason to live healthy right now. I don't have to wait until I am "skinny" or "normal." I can do it right now.

    Hang in there. You are worth it.

  7. Absolutely WONDERFUL post... Reference back to this whenever you feel yourself resorting to old ways.. That was excellent, and I may print off a copy as well! :)

  8. What a fantastic list. If I were to make a list, it'd be very very much like the one you posted!

  9. I had that list.... and I HATED that list....AND I am heading towards having to write me another one if I'm not careful!
    Tully, the only way to get rid of that BLOODY LIST is to lose weight, you know it, I know it... so come on!!!
    Pull finger... I can assure you that when you do lose the weight you will feel F#*KN FANTASTIC!

  10. I had to add ONE MORE thing to my 'fat list'... but I'm not going to put it on here! If you want to know what BROKE THE CAMELS BACK.. and became the FINAL STRAW for me... send me an email and I will tell you!

  11. what erin said!

    you are a fucking diamond baby. i hope you get to strike all those fucked up things off your list.


  12. Add this one "Because I am a beautiful human being and I deserve to feel good about myself and love myself" because you absolutely are!!!!!!!

  13. Gosh, I relate to these, it's good to remember why we are doing this and what we are doing it for! I can't wait until plane seats fit comfortably again!

  14. Your list has really motivated me, i agree with most of the things you have written. im even planning to write my own list. [good luck with achieving your goals]

  15. I understand the list, but I'm not so sure I'd want to remind myself of all that self loathing every single day. Maybe read through it once a week??

    Can you make a positive list as well??? With steps or milestones along the way that you can tick off so you can see the achievement on paper?

    Please don't take my comments as patronising. I really do wish you all the best.


  16. I just found your site, and I'm so glad that I did. Wow.... This post was both touching, and hilarious. I was able to relate to each of your feelings. I need to print this for future references.

    This is great!!! I'm glad that I stumbled upon your site, and just wanted to say so!!

    I look forward to following your blog!

  17. I think that's a great list and it has helped me also, I've been reading your blog most of the morning, so don't freak if you see a lurker from Texas in your stats, that would be me!
    I think you are FABULOUS!! and gorgeous!

  18. You are a little legend - great post! So great in fact I had decided to do the exact same thing plus a What I'm looking forward to post. I'd put a note in my phome to do it in the next few days hahaha Great Minds.

  19. There's hardly a one of them I can't identify with. Some are now gone (through weight loss or just head-changes) and I already don't miss, but there's plenty more of those I'm looking forward to not missing too.

    I hope writing the list has empowered you rather than brought you down.

  20. Omg i totally need that. I can so so relate your freaking fab Tully love you xxxxxxx


Awww thanks so much for the comment!