You know that feeling of dread that comes over you about 5.00 pm on a Sunday when you realise the weekend is over and you have another week at a soul sucking job? Well that feeling has been creeping up earlier and earlier lately, seemingly in direct relation to how much I don't want to go to work. A few weeks ago I woke up on Saturday morning and felt instantly depressed that it was 8.00 am and I hadn't done anything exciting with my weekend yet and that it was practically over and the count down to the next weekend would begin. A little extreme perhaps?!
I knew I hated my job the first day I started and one clue to this is that I started buying lotto tickets for the first time in my life. I know I'll probably never win, but I just need the hope. I was talking with friends the other day about how much money you would have to win before you would quit your job. Most people said 1 or 2 million dollars, I said $5000 and I would be out the door.
The thing is, it isn't just this particular job I hate, I just don't like working 9-5. I find it majorly depressing that I spend at the very least 8 hours a day at work, 2 hours a day travelling to and from work and an hour getting ready for work. Why does my life revolve around something I don't care about? Why do I put all my energy and creativity into a job that doesn't give a shit about me? Why do I sit in traffic for 2 hours a day like a fucking idiot? Why do I work just to pay bills? Why do I have to get up when I still want to sleep? Why do I have to take crap from rude clients and moronic colleagues?
I am not sure I want to participate in this cycle that everyone seems to think we have to do. Go to uni, get a job, buy a house, live happily ever after. It is making me feel claustrophobic.
I need more.
When did I start going to bed at 10.00 pm? When did I stop going to protest rallies? When did I start using wanky phrases like 'moving forwards'? When did I start voting Labour? When did I wake up and realise I had nothing in my life except work? I know this is probably just a quarter life crisis, which just makes me even more average.
I still want to be rich and famous!
Get out!!!
ReplyDeleteStart looking for another job, closer to home, in a different field, part time - whatever.
Look at what you WANT to do and go from there.
I agree with the previous commenter... just get out if you don't like it.
ReplyDeleteSure, it takes a lot to pack in a job and the security that it entails, but what's the point of working if you're not into it?
I'm 25. I'm in my seventh year of uni, for my second degree (a PhD). I earn $25k on a scholarship, and that money will run out about one year before my PhD is finished. Am I panicking? Nope. Sure, I can't buy everything that I want, but this year I've managed to save enough money to travel overseas TWICE for a period of at least 3.5 weeks each time -- and I've been living out of home since I was 17, so it's not like I have no financial responsibility.
When my PhD is finished, I have absolutely no plan to work full time. It's quite possible to get part-time academic positions, and if I can work three or four days a week and be financially happy (which I will be), then why work more? Sure, I will have put years into studying to get to that point, but it seems like a much better option than wasting away in a cubicle at some giant company where I'm just a name at a desk, for the next forty years.
Just take a chance.
You know what you need to do. When are you going to start doing it?
ReplyDeleteClaire x
You sound extremely intellegent and well spoken. I think you should look for a job today. One closer to your home, one that challenges you, and one that doesn't make you tired just thinking about it.
ReplyDeleteMaybe even two different part time jobs that afford you the opportunity to try different things!
I know exactly how you feel. I absolutely hate my job but really like my paycheck. I've been trying desperately to get out of my current firm but with the job market the way it is there just isn't anything out there right now. Time for the countdown ... is it 5:00 yet? is it Friday yet? This is what goes through my head every working hour of the day.
ReplyDeleteHang in there and keep your eyes open for a non 9-5 job you could enjoy with a paycheck you can live on.
Get out of there! There *are* jobs that one is willing to work 8hrs a day for! You just need to find the right one for you!! Good luck!!
ReplyDeleteI completely understand your position-- I am in a very similar one myself. However, unlike you, I don't work a 9-5, I'm in management consulting, so I travel 4 days/week, work about 60 - 70 hours, and hate every minute of it (except the lovely paycheck, of course).
ReplyDeleteWhile I do think it's important for everyone to love what they are doing, or at least like it, it is not as easy to just pack up and quit, as some people have suggested. The job market is tough right now, and, while you might not be happy in the current situation, you might be even unhappier if you quit your job, are unable to find a new one and do not have a steady flow of income.
What has helped me a lot is to realize that my job is NOT my life-- it's just a job that I need to pay the bills, make money and not worry about finances. But it is NOT your whole life, even if it does take up a large part of your day. Start looking for other opportunities-- just knowing that they exist, and that you are not trapped in your current situation will help a lot!
Let's be hippies and smoke pot and eat lentil patties and burn incense as we congregate around our circle of house buses in the meadow..... Really, as against my morals and principles it is to not work and earn a living, I really think your average gypsy hippie has it right, not the rest of us!!
ReplyDeleteOMG how sad and depressing. Life is for living... you know what to do
ReplyDeleteI hated going to work too.
ReplyDeleteNow I'm a 'kept woman' and I hate that too.
Can't win mate.
AND having lots of money does not guarantee happiness either unfortunatly.
How long would it take to save that $5000? Would it make you feel less clausterphobic? I say, in this economy, save the $5000.
ReplyDelete@Chris H
ReplyDeleteYou wanna trade? I'll show you how to be happy with alot of money! LOL
I hear you Tully on the rich and famous part..
I always said that I was sitting on my fortune - well now is the time to cash in! Cya on Oprah!
Or at least Tyra....
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ReplyDeleteIt sux that you are that unhappy in your job ... ((If you don't mind telling ... what field are you in??))
ReplyDeleteMy hubby was like that! To a point where we started fighting about it (I couldn't understand why, with good money he wouldn't just suck it up!!) Then I realised that the money is nothing if we are hating our lives. So he applied for a job in the local council operating machines ... he loves it, lower money but he is smiling again and we are happier! We shuffled the bills and cut out the crap and it is no different to when he was panel beating!
I say start looking for a job that will suit you! One that will make you bounce out of bed in the mornings! We all deserve to be happy ... we spend more time at work than we do with our families ... you have to at least like going.
If that doesn't work .... Adopt Jules' idea .... GO HIPPEE!!! *Peace out man!*
xoxox
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ReplyDeleteThe definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting the same results.
ReplyDeleteIf nothing changes, then nothing changes.
Shall I go on?
Is your health worth making someone else rich?
Is your health and happiness worth sitting in a box with wheels for 2 hours a day (that is craziness Tully!!)
Sure, people say it isn't easy to just throw in your job but it is. It is that fucking simple.
You don't have children. You don't have a morgage and thousadns of people have juggled their finances to suit them and start becoming financially independant.
When you get to the end of your life, no-one will say "Oh but she kept clients happy and her In box empty"
Live life happy or stay miserable. There is a way out. Swallow some pride and look for jobs that you'd love to do, not so much what you are qualified to do.
You can do this Tully. Don't let it et away at you.
"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. " Rather.
ReplyDeleteLooks for something else - do something you love. I hated what I was doing and then I started Tupperware and it was the socialisation I needed in my life. It also makes money why I socialise and it's loads of fun so that's good too. But I really enjoy it! You can find something like that too.
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel. I hate my job, but there are no other options for me other than minimum wage jobs... I'm looking into going back to school and getting a different career. one that doesn't require me being trapping in a cube 40 hours a week staring...
ReplyDeleteyou just need to make the first step, apply to different jobs, enrol in a course etc, just one small step forward to initiate change.