Thank God That Is Over

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After all the bragging that 2010 was the best year I have ever had, I have to say that 2011 was the worst year ever. Everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. I don’t want to dwell on the misery by doing a recap or going into the details, but I am hopeful for a better 2012. So rather than bore you with the reasons 2011 was a shitful year for me, I am going to talk about some of the great things I did that made life much happier for me this year

Laser Hair Removal

I tell everyone I meet that having laser hair removal was completely life changing. I am not exaggerating when I say that it has been just as amazing as losing 50 kilos. For those of you with PCOS that have the hair issues you might understand what I mean. For the last 5 years I have had to shave my entire face every day due to hormonal hair growth that comes with having PCOS. Of course I tried waxing and plucking for many years before I succumbed to shaving, but there was just too much hair and ultimately it had to be taken care of every day. It even put me off travel and staying at other people’s houses because I would panic if I didn't know I was able to shave at least every 24 hours. Let me tell you, the 24 hour flight to London was a nightmare! This year I have had about 8 sessions of medical grade laser hair removal and I haven't had to shave my face again. Not a single day went by when I didn't feel humiliated and ashamed when I had to shave my face like a man so I feel like a changed person.

Facebook

I deleted my facebook page and it is definitely the best thing I could have done and I honestly haven’t missed it at all. I really find facebook to be quite toxic with all the drama, whinging and attention seeking. It was truly making me dislike my friends because I was learning way more about them than I ever needed to know. Apart from all the boring stuff where people brag about their kids or husband, whinge about work or talk about what they had for breakfast, the main issue for me was the attention seeking made me feel really uncomfortable. People would write dramatic or ambiguous statements for attention and it made me cringe.  If one more friend updated their status with “needs a hug” I was going to slam my face into my keyboard. It also made me feel insecure to see people talking about their amazing lives, friends and families and I couldn’t help but wonder if my life was lacking in comparison... are other people’s lives as exciting and glamorous as they make out? I know I miss out on a lot of news, photos and invites now that I am not on facebook (not to mention almost all my friends and family forgot my birthday this year), but my close friends and family still make an effort to keep me in the loop and they are the only ones that actually matter. I know facebook works for a lot of people, but it just wasn't for me and I am a much happier person without it.

Debt Repayment

It is a little hard to be entirely sure exactly how much I paid off my credit card debt because I have shifted things around and consolidated my cards. I do know that I paid off at least $12,000 and I didn’t add to my credit card debt (except for my wisdom teeth surgery which I am still paying off). Sorry if that shocks you that a person could have that much credit card debt and I am deeply embarrassed that I let things get so bad. I have to say that I had many a sleepless night worrying about debt and money this year, but I do feel good knowing that I am making progress. It was stressful budgeting every cent and treats were few and far between this year. My favourite fantasy is thinking about what I would do with my paycheck if 90% of it didn’t go to rent, bills and credit card debt re-payment… I am still not in the clear with my debt and I have some big expenses this year, as well as the possibility of being out of work, so my sleepless nights are not quite over yet!

Teeth

I finally bit the bullet (pun intended) and got all the dental work I needed done. Prior to this year, I had only been to the dentist twice in my life when they had come to my primary school for free check-ups. As I got older I became terrified of going to the dentist because of the shame of how bad I knew my teeth were and the financial cost to have them fixed. More than anything I was scared because of my fat person phobia. I can't really explain why exactly it was such a big fear, but it was just one of the many things that scared me when I was obese. In the end I had to get 6 fillings, fix a broken tooth and get all 4 wisdom teeth removed this year. It cost a bomb, even with private health insurance I was out of pocket about $5000.  I am so glad I did it though and it is such a relief having my teeth healthy for the first time and knowing that I conquered a big fear.

How sad that these boring things were my highlights... but as AJ said to me, 2011 was a consolidation year. I don't know what 2012 will hold, as usual I will just be doing my best to be better everyday, I am not sure I can do much more than that right now.

Now, here is a photo from my trip to Mt Beauty in April that holds very happy memories and makes me feel calm and peaceful-- I guess 2011 wasn't all bad!