Byron Bay & Wedding Photos... Finally!

I spent 6 months stressing about being a bridesmaid in my brother's wedding and then I didn't really get around to posting any of the photos from the wedding or the trip. I used the public holiday yesterday to get my photos in order so prepare to be bombarded by holiday happy snaps!

ROAD TRIP!

The road trip was almost my favourite part of the whole holiday. I just love getting in the car (as long as i don't have to drive) and driving until you feel like stopping. Going through cute little towns, stopping for food and taking silly pictures. Then when you are tired, finding a cheap hotel to spend the night and starting all over again the next day. It's so much fun feeling free and not having to be anywhere in particular.

We left home at 4.00am to get an early start on the 20 hour drive. Here is me at our first stop, Holbrook, having a delicious pie for breakfast

AJ, being the child that he is, immediately ran to play on the giant submarine in town

We stopped at the 'famous' Dog on the Tucker Box... boring!

AJ on 'the road to Gundagai'!

We stopped for the night in Port Stephens and this was an early morning coffee and walk by the water before we set off for another day of driving. I will always remember this town as having the best fish and chips i have ever had. I wanted to go back for more for breakfast!

Of course we had to stop at the Big Banana for a banana fritter in Coffs Harbour. I think this might have been my first banana fritter and it was surprisingly good!

We stayed that night in a rainforest resort in Yamba, it was stormy, but so hot so we hit the pool

An evening walk along the beach in Yamba. I loved this little town, I would happily move there and retire.

The view from the rocks in Yamba

Fish and chips for dinner again, nothing is better than beachside fish and chips!

BYRON BAY

We hired a 4 bedroom house across the road from the beach in Byron Bay for us and my brother and mum and their partners and stayed a week for the wedding of my younger brother.

After 2 days driving we arrived in Byron Bay and this is the beautiful house we stayed in for the week

The bath in my bathroom, it was so deluxe, but almost too big!

AJ and I got up early and did the spectacular Headland and Lighthouse walk

AJ along the way looking for dolphins

Me wondering what I got myself into, my fitness was so poor and it was a bit painful (can you see the lighthouse way in the distance)!

The gorgeous lighthouse

Another view of the lighthouse

The beautiful beach at Byron Bay

Me playing on the floating thong in the pool at the holiday house

AJ doing handstands in the pool

A lizard that went for a swim in the pool on a hot day, but then it couldn't get out so AJ had to fish it out, hilarious!

Me drinking a macadamia milkshake at the Macadamia Castle

AJ and I walking on the beach in our backyard

Me on the beach

AJ at the Byron Bay market in torrential rain

The Byron Bay farmers market

AJ out for dinner

The farmers market tasting menu at Fig Tree Restaurant-- I highly recommend this place if you happen to be in byron on a Thursday night

One of the courses of the tasting menu, it was all delicious!

Me sipping on Prosecco at dinner

Reading by the pool, which is how I spent the majority of my time

AJ enjoying wearing my robe that says 'Bridesmaid' on the back

Me at Minyon Falls

AJ hiking along the walk we did down to base of the falls... another walk that my fitness was not prepared for... ouch!

The view of the falls from below

AJ on the beach on our last night

My last walk on the beach... sob...

THE WEDDING

My younger brother married his Canadian girlfriend in lovely Byron Bay, alongside about 80 of their closest family and friends. It was a great day and it was just lovely to see them so happy.

One of the other bridesmaids at the wedding

AJ performing delivery duties on the morning of the wedding

Me in my 'Bridesmaid' robe before I got my hair and make-up done (we had to start EARLY!)

Connie getting her nails done by one of the bridesmaids

A photo of my terrible tan marks in my bridesmaids dress

My brother (the groom), my mum and me at my place after the ceremony, where the bridal party went to hang out and have a drink

My house was across the road from the beach, so we all walked over and got some photos taken (me and my brother at the back)

Me and my fellow bridesmaids

Connie getting picked up by the groom and groomsmen

The bride and groom

Kicking off our shoes on the beach

AJ taking a bottle for a little something stronger for the reception

Cutting the cake

Having fun on the dance floor

More dancing

Some guests on the deck overlooking the beach

The bridal party messing around with parasols... of course I ruined the photo because I couldn't hold my own weight in that pose!

Me, my older brother (the MC) and my younger brother (the groom)

AJ and Connie on the deck

Some of the guests in the marquee (where the ceremony was held)

HOMEWARD BOUND

After the wedding, AJ and I set off on the 10 hour drive to the wine region of the hunter Valley for a few days to de-stress from all the wedding activities and holidaying with family... boy did I need some wine!

Commencing the drive from Byron Bay to the Hunter Valley for the second part of our holiday

The scenery along the way

One of the many boring pit stops along the way, I can't even remember what this one was...

Stonehenge in NSW... we stop at anything!

The Golden Guitar in Tamworth

Me pigging out on McDonalds and chinese food in the car, and yes, eating Chinese food in the car is not advisable... 

Finally we made it to the Hunter Valley about midnight and here I am eating chips because we had a free welcome mini bar, which I thought meant we had free mini bar for our first night, so i ate everything in sight... turned out it was free for the whole trip and I made a pig of myself for nothing!

AJ getting excited by his robe, he loves to pose!

The gorgeous Spicers in Hunter Valley where we stayed for 3 nights, it was just amazing and I highly recommend this place

Looking exhausted the next morning, but very ready to hit the wineries!

The gorgeous Parisian breakfast we had each day, it doesn't look anything special, but it was all home made and just delicious

Tempus Two, the first winery we hit that morning and I was so excited I joined their wine club, I can't wait for the first delivery!

At least we weren't the only people drinking wine at 10.00am!

Yet another winery...

Lunch at Lindeman's

The weather started getting stormy

Then the downpour came... lucky we were stocked with wine and cheese and could wait the storm out!

The lovely restaurant at the hotel

A strange photo of me at dinner

The desserts that we managed to eat, despite being very full and boozed

The cellar in the restaurant

Mount Pleasant winery

Going on a winery tour early the next day

Where all the wine is being made

AJ enjoying our wine tutorial

The fun bit... tasting!

After all the wine, I needed a big pasta to soak it all up

Keeping warm by the fire on my last night of holidays

Haircut

I kind of hate getting my hair cut and coloured because I have never been able to find a good hairdresser that I have liked enough to want to trust with my hair and my $250 (any Melbourne hairdresser reccomendations appreciated!). So I have started to buy those group deal vouchers for haircuts seeing as I don't have a regular hairdresser and it saves me about $200. Obviously it doesn't always work out for the best and I have had a couple of bad experiences, but my inner tight-arse keeps me going back for more.

I had my hair done on Saturday with one of these deals and the jury is out on whether I will go back. The place was ok, the hair cut was ok and it is close to home, so it may be a winner for that last reason. Anyway, talking about my hair is not terribly interesting, but the reason I am posting this on my blog is because the hairdresser took a before and after photo of me and posted it to their facebook page. He seemed genuinely shocked by hair and used the word 'unflattering' at least three times so I knew he was going to hack it off.

Note that I made a rookie mistake and wore my gym clothes and no make-up to the hairdressers because I was going to the gym after. This meant I had to stare at my pasty skin and enlarged pores in an oversized mirror for two and a half hours and shudder with horror. I honestly don't know what I was thinking...

Here are the photos, it may not look like it, but he chopped off a lot of hair. He kept telling me I should weigh myself when I got home because he reckons he took off half a kilo of hair! If only weight loss was always this easy...

What do you think? I am still a bit unsure... Should I get it cut short short next time?

BEFORE

AFTER

Baked Banana Oatmeal

It's getting chilly now that autumn is upon us here in Melbourne, so it is rather unfortunate that I am too fat for my winter jacket at the moment. I am spending every morning and evening shivering at the tram stop and kicking myself for eating chocolate like it was going out of fashion for the last 4 months. Aside from this little problem, autumn is my absolute favourite time of year and, like most things I love, it is mostly about the food.

As soon as it cools down I add oatmeal back into regular rotation for breakfast. Before I had the lap band I thought oatmeal was just slodge for health freaks and now I am totally addicted. It is funny how much your tastes can change after surgery, but it is mostly about seeking out foods that are easy to get down-- especially at breakfast time.

I normally keep sachets of instant oats at work for a quick breakfast, but my other favourite way to eat oats is baking them. In fact, it's almost like eating cake for breakfast... almost. I like to make a big dish of baked banana oatmeal and I have my healthy breakfasts ready for the week. Then I just warm up a piece in the microwave and serve it with a dollop of Greek yoghurt and a drizzle of honey and I am in heaven!

The finished product

Served with Greek yoghurt and honey

BAKED BANANA OATMEAL adapted from Kath Eats Real Food

Ingredients

• 2 cups rolled oats
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 1 egg
• 3 bananas
• 1.5 cups skim milk
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 1/4 cups of toasted walnuts
• 1/2 tsp cinnamon

Method

1. Slice two bananas and set aside 
2. Toast ¼ cup of chopped walnuts and set aside
3. Combine the following dry ingredients:

• 2 cups rolled oats
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 1/4 tsp kosher salt
• ½ tsp of cinnamon

4. Combine the following wet ingredients:

• 1 egg, beat
• 1 mashed banana
• 1.5 cups skim milk
• 1 tsp vanilla

5. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and mix well

6. Spray an 8 inch dish with oil or line with baking paper
7. Pour half the batter into dish and then top with banana slices
8. Pour the remaining batter on top of banana slices and top with toasted walnuts
9. Bake in an oven at 190 for about 30 minutes

Let It All Out

God I have been really gloomy on this blog lately. I haven't lost weight in a very long time and I haven't taken care of my mind or body. I have struggled with negative thoughts and feeling helpless about a lot of situations in my life. I am sick of feeling this way and I am sure everyone is very sick of hearing about it!

Last week in particular I was feeling overwhelmed by feelings of anger and resentment. I can honestly say I have never felt like this in my life because I have never allowed myself to be angry. I tend to try to keep things nice, not make a fuss or upset anyone. I have never raised my voice or had an argument with anyone in my life. God forbid I feel any real emotions.

Now I don't want to be an angry person, but I think that allowing myself to feel angry last week really helped. I acknowledged that life isn't fair sometimes and I have the right to feel angry at the way I have been treated and the situations I have been put in. I felt angry about things that have happened last week, things that happened last year, things that happened ten years ago and things that are going to happen in the future. I came on this little blog and had a rant and I felt the relief that comes with sharing your problems and letting your anger out.

I don't want to harp on the negative or wallow in my anger and self-pity because I know that won't help either. I'll keep trying to work on my attitude to get back to a place where I have a will to succeed and be happy again. I have gone almost a week without a binge now and I even went back to the gym for the first times in months over the weekend. I am still quite some way from feeling like my old self, but if I can just take it bit-by-bit, I am hoping I will get there eventually... Meanwhile I am watching The Voice and it's almost making me cry so maybe I am going too far with this touchy feely emotional stuff!

If You Can Pinch More Than An Inch...

I can't seem to get back into losing weight mode. Aactually, at this point I would just be happy to stop gaining weight. I am severely lacking will power and motivation... as well as feeling exhausted, depressed and over it. I seem to have lost the ability to toughen up and just fucking do it, which is how I lost 50 kilos in the first place.

I have a lot more fill in my lap band now than I did when I first lost weight, but because I am not putting in the effort to restrict myself I am gaining weight like crazy. I wish I could go back in time to the frame of mind I had when I was losing weight and bottle it. I am eating full sized meals and immediately wanting more food as soon as I finish eating. Yesterday I ate a massive piece of lasagne the size of a large dinner plate for lunch and then ate a bag of mini Easter eggs and didn't even feel full. Boy oh boy, that is not good.

Obviously I need to see my doctor and get a fill in my lap band but I realllllllllllllllllllllllllly don't want to go. I have never found a supportive follow-up lap band doctor and I just feel like a big fat failure every time I go for a fill. They seem to think fat people are just stupid and that I could not possibly be aware that ice cream and chocolate will make me gain weight so I have to suffer through that condescending lecture every time. Then when I ask for help in terms of emotional eating problems or finding the right level of fill for my band I just get blank stares. Not helpful at all.

My life is generally not great right now and I think that finding out that I need over $20,000 for my body lift surgery just put me over the edge. There is no financially viable option for me to get the money for the surgery and there won't be for quite a few years. I am beyond crushed and I can't even put into words how important having this surgery is to me. I felt like it was the one thing I could control in my life and the one thing I was counting on to go right this year. So I seem to have taken that disappointment and channeled it into binge eating and self pity. Also not helpful at all.

Things won't get better until I can find a way to adjust my attitude, but I am finding that extremely difficult right now. My plan today is to pinch the massive spare tyre of fat that has developed between my boobs and belly every time I want to eat chocolate. Example below: