Sunday, July 01, 2007


That is pretty much how I am feeling. Blah.

I am going through a bored and un-motivated patch. I am not just talking about weight loss either, I mean life in general. I have spent the last 2 weekends laying on the couch in my dressing gown. I could go places and see people, but I just don't feel like it. I'm bored, but there is nothing I want to do.

I am looking forward to my holiday in NZ, then I get all negative and think that it is only 9 days and after that I am just going to go back to work and everything will be the same. Even when I look forward to the weekends I wonder what the point of getting excited is because it will be over really quick and it will be Monday again and I will have to go back to work.

I think the problem is that I have now been working full time for 18 months and I have hit a point where I wonder if this is how it is going to be forever. Am I going to work 5 days a week, 8 hours a day for the rest of my life and if so, what is the point?

I just don't understand how I can do this for the rest of my life, I always wanted more than this. I am stuck in a bland routine of getting up every morning feeling exhausted, showering, walking to work, doing the same job, walking home, cooking dinner, watching tv, going to bed.

I guess it doesn't help that I am a bit miserable at work at the moment. My job is not challenging and everyone treats me like a moronic slave. I snapped and made a sarcastic comment to a colleague who told me to book a restaurant for her the other day (I said "It would be a joy") and she told my boss that I have a bad attitude and I got in big trouble. I can barely look at the stupid bitch now because prior to this incident I thought we were friends, but she made sure she put me in my place.

I just can't stand the hierarchy of me doing all the work, making sure everyone else looks good and them getting pay rises and promotions. I thought this job was such a great opportunity and I guess it is, but there is only so long I can take being treated like nothing. I have worked so many crappy jobs (factory, retail, supermarket, call centre), but I have never been talked down to and treated with so little respect by my colleagues.

I need to make some changes in my life, I am not sure how to go about this yet. I don't know what I want out of life, but I am pretty sure this isn't how I want it to be. Should I get a new job? Should I move to the country, to London? Travel around the world?

Sorry if this sounded like a huge pity party. I am just feeling frustrated. Maybe I am having a mid life crisis... ;-)

So as not to be a major sourpuss, here are 5 things I am happy about:

  • Geelong won the footy (8 in a row- Go Cats!)
  • I have eaten healthy all week
  • My favourite show is on tv tonight- Big Love
  • My boss is away next week
  • I'm alive!


  1. Oh bloody hell girl...
    Get out and have a fling or something.. haha..*joking*
    Sorry to hear you are so down about things... Life certainly can suck sometimes...
    But yes we are alive and we can get about independantly..
    we can toilet ourselves... and eat by ourselves...
    so of course we should be ontop of the world... uh uh.. WRONG>>>
    I know where you are... and I am there too...
    How can we rectify this....
    I think it is the shitty weather...
    I HATE winter....

  2. Having a blah day here too. Thinking about getting dressed and going out for a walk. Haven't decided it I am going to make it though. :) Take care of yourself - and smile.

  3. WBS - I don't think you can blame the weather; since like me, Tully is a cold weather girl :-)

    I think that holiday over here will be just what you need to revive yourself. I've only been working for a couple of weeks and I'm already thinking, "Good god there's going to be no end to this." - Unlike school or Uni where there was A Finish Line. In some ways I'm thankful for my gym exploits since it gives me something to do in the weekends (especially dragging Sarah-I out here to join me, rawr!)

    What especially upsets me though, is the way you're treated at your work. Is there any sort of employee assistance programme that is run by your workplace (or contracted out by your workplace)? Maybe that could help - I'm looking at the pamphlet for our office and there's options for work relationships and so forth (even though it seems as though everyone else have the issues!)

    And hey, if you ever want to move overseas, you're more than welcome in Auckland :-) [preferably West Auckland!]

  4. Hi Tully

    I'm so sorry to hear about how you're feeling at work. I've felt much the same at various times.

    If you're asking yourself if you should make a change, then it sounds as though it may be an answer for you. What to change though .. that's the question. It takes a while to make a change too.

    In the meantime, I'm going to give you a bubble. It's a clear bubble that will protect you from the crap that other people dish out. When people say something to you like "book me a restaurant" the bubble will catch what they said, giving you a chance to assess the situation before you react to it.

    If you don't like the attitude but have to deal with the words, the bubble will let the words pass while keeping the attitude outside. That way you will be able to deal with the request, ie book the restaurant, without getting upset about the tone of voice.

    Inside the bubble is a safe, warm, comfortable place. I hope you enjoy it.


Awww thanks so much for the comment!