I was a bit reluctant to weigh myself this morning because last night I had a bit of a pig out, but I was happy to see a loss of 700 grams (1.5 lbs) which brings me down to an even 97 kilos (213 lbs). My aim was to get to 96.5 for my reunion, so I am half a kilo off, but that doesn't really matter I guess.
So why the binge? I had an extremely busy week at work with lots of long meetings and late nights and then yesterday afternoon I met with a group of editors for a big strategy meeting and when it was over I felt such a sense of relief that it was finished and the long weekend was about to begin. Then everyone in my office left at 4.00, but I had to stay late because I had work to catch up on. There was plates of sandwiches and cakes left over from the meeting that I had earlier and I just started eating and kept eating until I felt sick.
I have a bad habit in that I love to eat alone. I buy food and bring it home and I seem to enjoy it so much more when I am alone. Sometimes I see people eating a muffin as they walk down the street or a burger on the tram home and I wonder why they wouldn't want to wait until they can sit by themselves and savour it. I think that is because I associate shame with eating and I feel like I shouldn't be seen eating in public and I can relax when I am by myself. So when everyone from my work left it seemed like a perfect opportunity to eat in private.
I knew what I was doing and I just didn't really care and I actually felt better after I finished. I know that I shouldn't rely on food to comfort me when I am tired and upset, but it does. Ideally, it would be best if I didn't do this, but I figure if I only do it occasionally then it isn't the end of the world.
So my high school reunion is tomorrow night, I'll try to get a photo of my new outfit to post. I have a strong feeling I am going to get very drunk and most likely say/do some inappropriate things, but that is half the fun!
HAPPY EASTER and enjoy the chocolate- you deserve it!
Oh my gosh, I do the eating at home alone thing too! I mean, we've got people staying at our house (which is why I'm actually IN THE OFFICE writing this comment, on Good Friday, ack!) and at lunch time, I took my meal upstairs so that I could have it 'all to myself'.
ReplyDeleteHave a great Easter! I've only had one easter egg today - a peppermint creme egg - and it was divine! :-D
I know what you mean about eating alone. Less shame means you can savour it more, rather than worrying about whether people think you've had too much to eat, or whatever.
ReplyDeleteI'm cool eating with friends, though, mainly because they all love food as much as I do, and I'm usually the one making it for everyone :D
Have a good time at the reunion!
I like to eat alone or eat in a group of friends, heck I like to eat in the car. I'm bad that way.
ReplyDeleteI do know what you mean by eating due to stress or other emotions and it is a tough habit to break. One step at a time I guess. I think it's a chemical in the brain or 'feel good' thing for me when I eat at certain times. It's later that I regret eating the type of food but not at the time....gimmee that food drug. ha.
Have fun at your reunion and way to go on the loss this week!
I think I was reading m own blog here! I love to eat by myself too. And it seems that I always reward myself with a binge after a loss. Makes a hell of alot of sense!?! :)) Have a wonderful Easter weekend = take care and have fun.
ReplyDeleteHave a terrific reunion and post LOTS of pictures!
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean. Eating in private has been one of my dangerous pleasures since I was a kid. I say dangerous because I've done the greatest harm to my body in those moments, yet it is deeply gratifying to have the time and space to really savour a food I love.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I hope you have a ball at your reunion. Look forward to hearing about it.