Number 19

The day before my 30th birthday I decided to get a spray tan to give me more of a summer glow for the holidays, without realising that it was on my list of 30 before 30. So I managed to cross another item off before the deadline! I have to say that the whole event was probably as bad as I imagined, but no worse than I had imagined. If that makes sense.

I chose to keep my knickers on, mostly to cover my stomach, more than my private bits... The woman doing the spray tan was OK about the whole thing, but it's not everyday I stand (almost) naked and spread eagled in front of a stranger while she sprays tan onto me. Not my favourite thing to do.

I was supposed to sleep with the tan on and wash it of in the morning, but at about 12.30 am I went downstairs to go to bed and saw myself in the mirror and was a little horrified. I was dark, dark brown and looked ridiculous. The woman at the spray tan place told me I should expect this, but as it was my first spray tan I was still a little worried and decided not to risk it and so I washed it off that night before bed.

I was pretty happy with how the tan turned out, but next time I would be more careful with my hands because they were orange and horrible. I would definitely do it again, but at $40 a pop, it's not something I can afford every week... Why can't I be rich and famous. Sigh.

Oh god, this is hilarious, look how brown I am!

Arghhh, I'm scared, should I was it off???

The underwear line where spray tan meets natural colour. OMFG!

The next day, looking natural enough, except for those orange hands...

30 Rocks

The day has finally arrived, I am no longer a twenty-something, I am the big three oh. Apparently it hasn't made me grow up at all because I still think things like this are hilarious...

The t-shirt I found in Target... I just took of photo of me in it, but I kind of wish I bought it now ($10 from the mens section). I guess it's not that funny though considering most people I know in 'real life' don't know I have a lap band.

An extreme close up... because I need more close ups of my breasts on the internet...

'Tis The Season

I always hate this time of year because I have a crazy family, not funny crazy, but lunatic crazy. My mum has already told me she's taking the tree down and that I shouldn't bother coming home for Christmas, so who knows how Christmas will go this year. The fun never stops!

Anyway, I have a very bad pattern of weight gain around this time of year because this craziness drives me into a vat of ice cream and this year is looking no different. I feel so puffy and bloated from way too much eating and drinking and I just can't seem to stop. My clothes have already stopped fitting me and just looking in my closet makes me depressed. I am thinking I might need a mini detox after Christmas, just so that I can face the scales in the New Year. I am seriously considering a few days of optifast, but I am not sure I have it in me to drink that shit. If only there was a Sauv Blanc detox diet...

AJ and I were watching an old episode of 30 Rock the other night and a scene came on where Liz Lemon is watching TV, wearing a 'slanket' and eating a plate of cheese in the middle of the night. AJ looked at me and asked if perhaps I could see any similarities between myself and Liz Lemon in that scene... Then five minutes later, in the worst case of timing, I happen to be eating a Magnum ice cream in my dressing gown and the whole ice cream falls off the stick onto my chest and arm. I don't have any free hands to clean it up because I am holding the stick with one hand (which still has a little ice cream on it) and my other arm has a chunk of ice cream sitting on it, so I have to ask AJ to help get the ice cream off me. Not my finest moment.

I then despair that I will have to wash my dressing gown now and AJ says: "isn't that like the third time this month that this has happened?". I actually think it might be the fourth time...

Oh dear... I think I need to get out of my dressing gown, put away the ice cream and get off the couch.

Bun In The Oven

No, I am not pregnant, but that isn't stopping people from thinking I am...

When I was really big I didn't really ever get mistaken for being pregnant because I looked fat rather than pregnant I guess. I was always grateful for being saved the humiliation of people asking me when the baby was due, but I noticed it seemed to happen to a lot of my thinner friends. A girl I work with shared a few hilarious stories of when she was mistaken for being pregnant, even though she isn't really fat at all. A particularly bad situation was when she started a big impressive job as a lawyer in the US and they held a drinks reception for her, when she went to the bar with her colleagues the bar tender refused to serve her because he said it is illegal to serve alcohol to a pregnant woman. I think I would have to quit my job after having that happen in front of new colleagues.

Anyway, the reason I am bringing this up is because 3 times in the past few weeks I have got onto a packed tram and a young guy has jumped up and offered his seat to me. The first time I thought it was odd, the second time I wondered if guys were getting more chivalrous and the third time I realised it wasn't a coincidence and they must think I am pregnant. There is just no other reason why these guys would offer their seats to me, I am perfectly capable of standing up on the tram.

It happened again yesterday and I took the seat that was offered because I thought the guy was giving it to me because he was getting off the tram, but then he didn't get off until we got to the city... half an hour later... I sat there the entire time completely mortified and put my bag on my lap to cover my stomach. AJ happened to be with me that day and he thought the whole thing was hysterical. Nice to be a guy and not have to worry about these things.

I got dressed this morning and AJ says to me "That's nice, you don't look pregnant". I guess that is what passes for a compliment these days...

Number 23

With only 8 days to go until I turn 30, I was totally surprised this morning with number 23 from my 30 Before 30 list.

23. Buy myself an exquisite piece of jewellery

My younger brother and his girlfriend had organised (through AJ because they live in Canada) to buy me a lovely piece of jewellery from Tiffany's and wanted me to get it a little early as they are leaving for a holiday in Peru soon. OK, so technically I didn't buy it myself, but this is even better if you ask me!

I have to say that I love big cheap jewellery (I live in Diva) and I have never had a fancy piece of jewellery and so I thought it was about time I started to act a little grown up. I have drooled over the jewellery in Tiffany's many times and lusted after the day I could have a special piece for myself. So I am beyond thrilled to have a gorgeous piece that I'll be able to keep forever.

OK, so I suppose you want to see photos...

That bag and box that can take a girls breath away...

It looks so pretty I almost don't want to open it...

Exactly want I want, big silver hoops! I wear cheap silver hoops every day that make my ears bleed, but I feel naked without them, now I have good quality ones I can wear without infection!

A close up of me wearing them... and a goofy smile...

Me showing off my new earrings... before running out the door and realising I am running seriously late for work!

Oh and they also sent me this too... chocolate and champagne... I have to admit that I have already demolished most of this...

Turning 30 is suddenly not seeming so bad...

Number 24

I turn 30 in just over a week and in April 2009 I wrote a list of things I wanted to do before I turn 30 and I updated it in June 2010, but that poor list has been seriously neglected. I would have a very busy (and expensive) 10 days ahead of me if I were to try and complete it before I turn 30, but unfortunately that won't be happening. I'll give a full updated closer to my birthday, but over the weekend I was surprised that one of my most desired objectives from the list was ticked off.

My birthday is obviously at a shitty time of year, so I have a tradition with my dad and step-mum that they come down to Melbourne for a weekend close to my birthday and take me out to a fancy restaurant to celebrate, rather than doing anything on the day of my birthday. They came down this weekend and we were planning to go to the wonderful Flower Drum, but that day another restaurant called my dad and said they had a last minute availability, as he had put us on the waiting list a while ago. So a last minute change of plans meant we were now dining at Vue de Monde, my most sought after dining experience and number 24 on my list 30 things I wanted to do before I turn 30.

We ate the ten course degustation menu with wine matchings and it was the most amazing and exquisite experience of my life. The food was superb and was like eating a work of art and the wine pairings were impeccable. It is impossible for me to even say how fabulous this meal was, I just don't have the words to express what a wonderful experience this entire evening was. The restaurant was beautiful, the staff were so knowledgeable and the food and wine were perfection.

We started dinner at 8.00 pm and didn't leave the restaurant until 1.00 am and we ate and drank the entire time. Each course was more amazing than the next and each wine was more delicious, or maybe I was just getting drunk?! Every dish was made up of a complete mix of flavours and textures that any normal person would never imagine to put together and yet they were just perfect. I have eaten at a lot of the best restaurants in Melbourne and Sydney and this was just a level above anything I have experienced. OK, I have to stop talking because I am sounding like a complete wanker, but it was without a doubt one of the best nights of my life and the best birthday present ever.

Of course I have photos for you...

Me posing before we left home

Me and AJ getting a photo of us all glammed up

Drinking Dom Perignon, the restaurant upgraded our wines to 'very fancy' because it was my birthday

My dad and step-mum enjoying the champagne

One of the courses... when the top was lifted off the plate, smoke came out like a magic show

Me very much enjoying a glass of wine

The most tender wagyu beef I have ever eaten

 Cheese... yum

A pre-dessert of ice cream, popping candy and lemonade

Chocolate mousse souffle... AMAZING! God I wish I was eating that right now.

A dessert styled to look like cigarettes in an ash tray

One of the petit fours

Waiting for a taxi at the end of the night

I'm not sure if this will work because I have never posted a video, but while AJ and I were trying to get a photo of us before we went out, we accidentally put the camera on video and I just thought it was funny when I came across it. We look so stupid and I am doing the worst laugh!

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So how can someone with a lap band eat ten courses of food and wine, plus amuse bouches and petite fours? Well, luckily for me, I had .4 ml taken out of my band on Thursday (I now have 5.5 ml in a 10 ml band). Just in time! My band has been way too tight and I have been getting food stuck almost every day, so I got quite a large un-fill and I feel so much better already. Before the un-fill I would not have even been able to eat one course of food, let alone ten! Now I am back to being able to eat all foods- bread, sushi, meat and that's the way I like it. I would rather use a bit more self-restraint and be able to enjoy a diverse range of foods.

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For much better reviews of Vue de Monde and proper photography see these great blogs:
Tummy Rumbles
Eat Almost Anything
Second Helping
Gourmet Husbands

Well On My Way

I saw 77.6 kilos (170.5 lbs) on the scale this morning, which means that I now only have 10 kilos to lose before I have a healthy BMI. WOW. So now I can be one of those girls that walk around sighing, “I just wish I could lose 10 kilos”. Which is fine, but when you have 65 kilos to lose, your sympathy level for their 10 kilos is a little low. Well now I get to discover just how frigging hard it’s going to be to lose the last 10 kilos and perhaps I might be a little more sympathetic?! I know it’s all relative and whether you have 5 kilos or 100 kilos to lose, it’s bloody hard for us all.

Though I do have to say that for many years I have heard that it is much harder to lose weight when you only have a little to lose. It used to freak me out because when I had a LOT to lose it already seemed really hard and I wondered how much bloody harder it could get. For me personally, the hardest part was losing the first 30 kilos and the rest has been much easier.

It’s the mental stuff that I found much harder when I was at my biggest-- going to the gym, saying no to the bag of chips and waking up each morning with a commitment to a healthy lifestyle. When I was at my biggest I physically couldn’t fit on some gym machines, I got those looks from some of the members at the gym and I struggled to find work out clothing in my size. Exercising at my size was quite painful and I didn’t get the joy or sense of achievement from it that I get now. Even as I lost the first 30 kilos, barely anyone noticed I had lost weight and I didn’t drop more than one size in clothing. So each day was still a constant struggle because I wasn’t getting those rewards that come with losing weight and I wondered if it really mattered if I went and ate a tub of ice cream.

Now that I have lost over 50 kilos (110 lbs) there is barely an hour that goes by in each day where I’m not grateful or aware of how far I have come. There are just so many little things that have changed my life since I have lost weight, from people looking me in the eye when they talk to me, to being able to have a seat on the tram and losing the constant fear I carried with me all the time. I no longer feel I have to apologise for my existence and all these changes make it so much easier to drag my arse to the gym and to say no to that bag of chips. I am rewarded for my hard work in so many ways each day that it just makes it so much easier to keep going.

I guess the next 10 kilos will bring a whole new set of challenges and frustrations, but right now I am just grateful that I have made it this far.

Weekend Photos

No time to write anything much because I am going to try and get to the gym before they close for the night. I just wanted to update with some photos taken from the weekend.

Me at home before I headed out to my friend's place in Geelong for a girls night (ie. getting drunk). Can you tell I felt like an absolute knob posing for that photo?

Holding my friend's gorgeous 1-year-old girl (before we passed her off to the dad to look after for the night). I need to always carry a small child on my lap to cover my 'problem areas', so slimming...

Just hanging out at home on Sunday (with a hang over), but I was wearing a new top, so I thought I should take a photograph to see how it looked (I do that with all my new clothes). The top is size L from Jay Jays.

Me, once again feeling stupid trying to pose for a photo! I'm still in my size 18 jeans because the 16's I bought are just too tight. I hate you apple shaped body. Sigh.

Worst 'Before' Picture Ever

I'm having a lovely quiet Friday night at home all by myself (for the first time in ages), eating paddle pops and catching up on the TV shows in my planner. Then out of boredom I start looking through old photos on my computer and out of nowhere am faced with the most horrific photo of myself I have ever seen. It is so bad it almost took my breath away.

I don't think I knew this photo existed, otherwise I obviously would have deleted it a long time ago. Though I have to admit that it is a pretty accurate representation of how I looked at the time, as hard as it is to admit.

Brace yourself... If you click on it you get to see the large version with pimples and all.

 

May 2009

18 months and 50 kilos later, thank god for the lap band...

November 2010

December Weigh In

Big sigh. Today was not a good weigh in, I only lost 1.2 kilos (2.5 lbs) for the month. I guess that wouldn't be so bad, but I actually tried quite hard to lose weight this month. I had a lot on with work and I went above and beyond to get my gym sessions in and eat lightly. I guess I just couldn't un-do the damage of those cookies and cream ice cream binges. I'm still in the 70's though, so it's not all bad news.

December 1st Weigh In: 79.1 kilos (174 lbs)
Weight Lost In Sept/Oct: 1.2 kilos (2.5 lbs)
Total Weight Lost: 50.6 kilos (111 lbs)

I really wanted to get to 75 kilos by the end of this year and, given that I have stuff on almost every day until the end of this month, that's probably not going to happen. Not only will I be eating out most days, I'll also be consuming way too much alcohol, and not be able to get to the gym as much. Actually, that sounds like fun, what am I complaining about?!

I am genuinely excited about all the lovely things I have on over December, and of course having a whole 2 weeks off work, so I'm not going to let the scales get in the way of my fun. I would love to just get off another couple of kilos to give me some room to move in my new dresses because they are still feeling slightly snug across my belly. I'll do my best to get in some gym sessions and not to be a complete pig, but I can't make any promises!

Happy December!!!