I haven't been on the scales since the start of February and I can honestly say I have no idea how much I currently weigh. I would say that it is most certainly substantially higher than my last weigh in of 81 kilos (178 lbs). I know it's a bit crappy to follow along with this little blog when you are interested in weight loss and I am not really losing weight or weighing myself. I am just not in the right headspace to be on the scales right now.
I don't think I am hiding from the number on the scales. I don't need to get on the scales to know it's not a good number. I can feel the weight on my body in everything that I do... not to mention when I try to zip up my jeans.
I know for most people that they need to see the number on the scales to keep themselves in check and get motivation. It mostly does the opposite for me and I turn myself into a human punching bag because I feel like I have never done enough. When I am weighing myself regularly I tend to start starving myself and shying away from social functions that include food and alcohol. Obviously that is not the way I want to live my life.
Right now I am focusing on exercising to gain strength and fitness and if I was to be weighing myself I couldn't help but turn my focus back on weight loss. I am eating to build my health back up, so this means that I am eating more than the 1000 calories I am supposed to stick to for weight loss. Once again, if I was weighing myself I would only be disappointed in the numbers and I really don't need to beat myself up about that right now. So I am going to keep my distance from the scales for a while longer and just work on eating healthy and exercising.
I do have one goal though, god damn I would love to fit back into my size 16 jeans before the end of the year. I am hoping slow and steady will win the race...