Big News...

I have made a decision that I am hopeful will change my life for the better. I have decided to have lapband surgery.

For those that don't know much about it, the lapband is a keyhole surgery where they put a band on the stomach to limit its capacity and is completely reversible. I feel like my crash dieting over the last 20 years has been a lot more harmful to my body than this procedure. I have thought about this long and hard over the past year, attended two information sessions, spoken with my doctor, spoken with a surgeon, discussed it with online and 'real life' friends who have had the surgery, read every blog, forum and book on lapbands and I am now 100% happy with my decision to have the surgery. For the first time in a very long time, I am hopeful that I can lose the weight and live a happy, healthy and full life.

All the information that I have read on lapbands say that it is just a tool and if you don't use it properly it won't work. So I do still need to control my diet and exercise, but it will help me control my eating. If you eat the wrong foods or don't keep the band tight enough you won't lose weight and may even gain weight. So I am not expecting this to be easy, but I do think this could help me and I am willing to give it a try.

I have told my mum and dad and they are really happy for me. It really hit home how difficult it is for them to watch me struggle with my weight problems and how heartbreaking it has been for them as well. The only other people I have told are two old girlfriends I used to work with, who both had lapbands done in 1998 and 2001 and both lost a stack of weight. They look FABULOUS, but more importantly, they are happy and healthy and say it is the best thing they have ever done. They are so excited for me and just keep telling me that I won't regret my decision.

Up until last year I didn't ever consider a lapband as an option for me. I thought it was great that my friends had the surgery and were happy with their decisions, but I didn't want or need to have weight loss surgery. To be honest, for me it was a matter of pride and I didn't want to have to admit that I needed help to control my eating. I have always been very independent (some might say controlling) and the idea of asking for surgical help to stop me from over-eating seemed embarrassing and weak. They say that pride comes before the fall and I guess that sums up my past 12 months. I am now willing to ask for help and take a risk in order to give myself the life I want. I am really excited for what this could mean for my future!

I wasn't going to write about this on my blog and I had decided to just delete my blog and hide away rather than face the criticism (I am a bit overly sensitive...). I have noticed a lot of people in the weight loss blogosphere don't agree with weight loss surgery and I really hate to feel like I am letting people down. I am so grateful for the support I have received from the people who read my blog over the past couple of years and I just don't want to disappoint anyone who doesn't agree with my decision. I have been nothing if not honest on this blog (too much sometimes *cringe*) so I really wanted to be truthful about my decision. I just really hope you guys will still be here for me!

*** I probably won't tell my other friends and family, so if we are friends on facebook, please don't mention this. Thanks! :-)