Thursday, May 21, 2009

It's Almost Time

Only one more sleep until my lapband surgery tomorrow morning! I am actually going into hospital this afternoon, in preparation for the surgery very early tomorrow morning. I have a very busy day of client meetings at work and my boss seems to be in denial about the fact I am going on leave, so hopefully I will get to the hospital in time to check in by 4.00pm!

I lost exactly 9.5 kilos on my pre-surgery optifast diet and I am down to 120.2 kilos this morning. I can't wait to get under 120 kilos and completely break away from that god awful decade. I bought new pj's to wear in hospital and I got a size 24-26 because I thought it would be best to get them big so they would be comfortable on my stomach, turns out they only just fit. I still continue to be shocked by just how fat I am! Not for long I hope...

I was on a very weird emotional roller coaster yesterday. Up until now, I had only ever been excited about the prospect of lapband surgery and then all of a sudden I felt teary, scared and stupid all at once. I didn't ever doubt my decision or why I am doing this, it just hit me that this is actually happening. I would be lying if I didn't say that I am somewhat disappointed in myself that I am having lapband surgery. Dealing with the fact that I need help to control my eating has been the biggest issue I have had to come to terms with, but I want a happy and healthy life, so I am at a point where I can finally accept I need help.

OK, *deep breath*, I better get on with it.

32 comments:

  1. Best of luck Tully. I am sure all will be well and I am wishing you a speedy recovery! Can't wait to hear about it when you get back. Kel xxx

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  2. This will be me next week. I go in on Friday for my band. I think you summed up beautifully exactly how we all feel. The weight issue, the disappointment in ourselves and everything else.

    I want to wish you the best of luck. You will do just great, and I hope to read about it all on the other side.
    Cara :)

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  3. It will be fine, we'll be here waiting when you get out.

    If you want something comfortable you could try a night shirt, that way you have no waistband to worry about.

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  4. Best of luck to you :-) My thoughts will be with you while you go through this.

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  5. Just popped in to wish you all the best. Hope the surgery and recovery go smoothly.

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  6. Hi Tully, I'm proud of you for making this decision and wanting better for yourself! Well done. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and hope you get though today & work okay. Take care! *hugs you*

    Chantel x

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  7. Good luck...you're going to do great!

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  8. I know exactly how you feel about the surgery. I was the same. I also went through the whole 'I shouldn't have to do this to myself to stop eating too much', but in all honestly I did. The prospect of surgery is scary, and I had a little cry on the way to theatre, but the nurses are great, and will look after you. GOOD LUCK, you will be up and about in no time.
    Kia Kaha (Be strong)
    H :)

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  9. Good luck tomorrow, I'll be thinking of you. I'm looking forward to reading about your successes!

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  10. Good Luck!!!!! Hope it all goes superduper & look forward to hearing the next installment!!

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  11. Good luck - can imagine the emotions, but it will be worth it all.

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  12. Good luck for tomorrow chick. Hope you can sleep tonight!

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  13. Sending you the biggest hugs and good vibes for tomorrow. I hope you have a quick and easy recovery. Can't wait to hear all about it! Great news on the weight loss so far. Congratulations for getting help when you need it.

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  14. Good luck for tomorrow! I will be thinking good thoughts in your general direction :)

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  15. Good luck -- you will be fine. I can't wait to see how you get on in the coming months!

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  16. Wishing you all the best, look forward to hearing from you when you get back!

    Hugs x

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  17. Good luck for the surgery! I hope everything goes smoothly and that you recover quickly!
    Looking forward to read about it when you feel ok!

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  18. Good luck Tully - I had no idea it was so soon!!! This is a huge step you're taking and I'm not surprised you're running the gauntlet of emotions! But remember there are so many people who care and are supportive of you. I'm sure you'll come out of this just fine! Looking forward to reading more when you're out the other side, recovering and ready to start your new happy and healthy life! xx

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  19. Don't be disappointed in yourself. It takes real courage to accept the reality that you need help. Good luck and update as soon as you can!

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  20. I'm just catching up on all the un-read posts in my poor abandoned blog reader and fear I've probably missed you.

    BIG {{hugs}} for tomorrow. Wishing you heaps of luck and positive thoughts for a simple process and a speedy recovery.

    I'm so glad you did decide to share your big decision - you're among friends here. I can imagine it would have been a hellish tough process, I'm rather independent (*read "controlling") myself and I know how much I hate admitting when I have to resort to outside help. Bloody good on you.

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  21. Good Luck Tully! You will breeze through it I'm sure. You don't need to feel at all dissappointed or upset. It's a very emotional time the lead up to any surgery and this is one you have chosen for yourself. The choice is such a brave one. And you should be excited. And to lose that much weight on Optifast HURRAH! That's freaking awesome love!

    I can't wait to hear from you when you get out.

    Hugs and Kisses xoxox

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  22. You will be in my thoughts tomorrow Tully....look forward to hearing from you soon

    Love Sarah xo

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  23. Best of luck for tomorrow. I know everything will go great for you xx

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  24. All will go well no doubt, I think we all get this fear and anxiety, but we know that in the end we will be like all the post WLSrs, we will be happy, Healthy and on our way to living a full life. Big hugs on your day tomorrow and just try to relax.

    HUGS

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  25. Best of luck for the surgery and a speedy recovery!

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  26. It is mid-morning in Sydney so I guess you may already be recovering from your surgery.

    I hope it went really well...

    And now for a Whole New Life! You brave girl - it's SO going to be worth it.

    (hugs)

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  27. Tully, I hope the op has gone as planned. Thinking of you. xx Megan

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  28. What a momentous day to have stumbled upon your blog, Tully! I have friends for whom the surgery has been a true new beginning. I'm sending good, healing, please-be-gentle-with-yourself thoughts your way. Best wishes, Debi

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  29. Good Luck! I look forward to reading your blog as you go down!

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Awww thanks so much for the comment!