Monday, November 30, 2009

Black Hole

So I had a big song and dance about getting under 100 kilos last week and since then I have fallen into a black hole of fried food and chocolate.

I have only gotten under 100 kilos precisely 4 times in the last 10 years and every time I have seen the number 99 I have started to eat like my life depended on it and gained back all the weight (plus more). Every time.

I knew last week was going to be a tough week, I had 3 major client meetings in 3 different states and a 3 day conference, all within a 7 day period. Basically, it was a months worth of work packed into a week and I was incredibly stressed. I admit that I let the stress get to me and I took it out on the mini bar, the only way I seem to know how...

I am supposed to have my monthly weigh in tomorrow and I just can't do it. I can't bear to see the scale tick back over the 100 kilos so I am going to skip it this month. The good news is that I have 31 days in December to work my arse off and get back under 100 kilos. I am not going to let this beat me again.


  1. I wonder why we do that? I must admit I have done the same in the past - hit a certain number - a GREAT number, one I have wanted to see for ages only to have it disappear again as quickly as it came because I then destroy it. Strange.
    You know, I'm thinking (well, hoping for your sake!!) that with all the traveling and stress perhaps it pushed you UNDER the 100 kilo mark. Wouldn't that be something. If it turns out it hasn't, just work your bum off like you said you would. You will do it this time!! And better yet, you will stay there!!

  2. Hmmm...I think it's safe to say we all have a self-sabotage type thing going on with our lives and that's ok because like you said, you have 31 days to be kind to yourself again. Good luck!

  3. Awwww - go ahead an weigh in - it's the journey right?? I do the same thing but now you are aware and taking steps in the direction to fix it...that is what is important. In this situation, I always still weigh in and then everytime I see that gain above a goal I remember the feeling to stop me from repeating that behavior. That's just me - I love your blog and you are INSPIRING to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thanks!!!!!

  4. This is a typical behavior that I've been known to follow frequently. Succeed, get cocky/scared, sabotage yourself! It's OK, life goes on!

  5. I do that, too.

    I got to 219, my lowest as an adult and ate my way back up to 223 with 3 angry/frustration/mindless eating incidents. And then I looked back and saw the pattern, every time I hit a new low by 10 lbs (the 230's, the 220's) I gain back 3-4 lbs in a crazy attempt to "get used to it".

    I will change that behavior. We both will. But in the meantime it's really nice to know I'm not the only one who gets a little scared when the scale cooperates :-)

    Good luck, I'm working off my 3 lbs so you're not alone if you did gain!

  6. Aww! A weight watching blog. Awesome. Good luck! :)

  7. It's quite the mind game getting under 100kg isn't it? I struggled with it and I've read other blogs who did too. Just know that you can do it and you will do it!

    Em :)

  8. Just take a breath and let go of the temporary mistake. Start making good choices again. You'll soon get back to where you were and even lower!


Awww thanks so much for the comment!