Thursday, March 15, 2007

I Wonder...

Lately I have been wondering what I would look like if I was skinny. I have never in my entire life been thin. I am curious as to what my face would look like and what body shape I would have.

I wonder if I would have curvy hips, a round bottom, big or small breasts. I wonder what shape face I would have, if I would have high cheek bones and what kind of chin I have. I wonder who in my family I would look like. I wonder if I would be pretty.

I want to see what my body would look like with a flat stomach, without rolls of fat, thin arms, toned legs, a proper neck and collar bones.

I want to feel what it is like to run, put on jeans, dance and have sex when you are thin. I want to know what it feels like to walk into a room and just be who you are and not the fat girl.

I have seen so many 'before and after photos' of people who have lost weight and they look amazing, like completely different people. I just want to know what I would look like and who I am really supposed to be.


  1. I fantasise about this sort of thing a lot. To the extent that I expect things to suddenly transform for me when I hit goal - suddenly I'll be this hot, sought after chick with oodles of confidence; where suddenly I transform into a whole different person that I don't know how to deal with.

    I know what its like to be fat. I don't know what its like to be thin. I'm not sure what sort of person I'd be if I was thin. If I met myself, would I like me as a thin person better?

    I know what the score is with being fat - I know my role, I know what I have to do. But if you take that role away from me, what's left?

    Gah, I'll stop rambling now, this was a much longer comment than intended! Great post, Tully, really got me thinking. :-)

  2. I know EXACTLY how you feel. Great post!

  3. You worded it perfectly. I can totally relate. You've got these thought running through my head now, too.

  4. It's the same being thin as being fat. Really. If you only look at it as far as the number on the scale goes, we ARE still the same person, only smaller. The trick is working on all the other things that maybe got us to "fat" in the first place. That's the hard part. When you DO get there (and I know you will!) because you never experienced it before you will be amazed on a daily basis that you have curvy cute hips, a collarbone, a wrist that doesn't look like IT needs a weight loss program when you put a watch on. You will be pretty and happy and lovely. To sustain it though, you have to go beyond the scale and solve any underlying issues. You don't want to end up like me. Knowing what it's like and feeling it but not making core changes emotionally and ending back up at square one again.

    Tully, you ARE pretty now. You ARE wonderful now. You ARE a great person now. Of course you will be all those things and more when you reach your goal.


  5. me too honey, me too


Awww thanks so much for the comment!