Monday, June 11, 2012

Fill Time

I have had a difficult time getting the restriction level of my band correct. In the three years that I have had the lap band I don't think I have ever got to that elusive green zone where I feel satisfied by food and don't get stuck when I eat. I am either too tight and can't eat yoghurt without vomiting or too loose and can still eat a whole pizza without too much trouble.

Earlier this year I had 0.3 mls removed from my 10 ml band so that I would have an easier time getting food down. Unfortunately I had too easy a time eating and my weight has shot up. So on Saturday I went back to my lap band clinic and asked for the fill to be put back in.

I had been putting off going for a fill because I hate having to tolerate the advice that goes with it. I saw a new doctor, who was perfectly nice, but she just went ahead and assumed that I was a moron. She seemed to think I had gained weight because I didn't know how to eat properly and thought I should go to see the clinic nutritionist (who charges $90 for a group session). I tried to explain that I ate very well day-to-day and that the issues I had were with emotional binge eating. She didn't listen and started to give me advice like this:

  • You could try eating minced meat instead of steak or chicken
  • Lentils are a great meat substitute
  • You should order soup from restaurants when you go out
  • Try to eat slower and chew your food very well

Wow... just how stupid does she think I am after having a lap band for three years... I attempted to explain, once again, that I am doing all of this but that I also eat uncontrollably past the point of feeling full and I don't know why. After this finally sunk in with her, her only response was that the lap band can't help with those problems. Duh. Then she told me at least five more times that I should see the nutritionist, gave me my fill and probably hoped she didn't have to see me again.

I feel like every time I see the doctors at my lap band clinic that they are really uncomfortable when I mention the troubles I have with emotional eating. They don't want to hear that the lap band can't solve all weight problems and that I am struggling.

Oh well, at least I got the fill in my band so hopefully I'll have a better chance of stopping this emotional over-eating. I had 0.3 mls put in and I now have 5.9 mls in a 10 ml band. Let's see how this goes...


  1. That Damn Emotional Eating!!! The last time I saw my dr and confessed to binge eating chocolate like a champ she said "the band wont help that" and then she looked me in the eye and said "so, are you done binging now" - super powerful moment - I havent had a binge since!

  2. Im so with you on the binging. I'm only recently banded and am going for an infill because I've been throwing up so much since my last fill and am terrified that I will slip my band. I always struggle with the binging and even with the band if I'm eating emotionally I feel that full feeling but still go until I'm in pain. Although I'm defiantly binging in much less than I normally would. Hang in there it's a really hard road. I did all these eating disorder programs before the band for my binging and they had this stupid rule of never dieting - well being fat, an emotional eater and not dieting makes you either gain weight or never lose a lb. I was hungry both mentally & physically but now with the band I can really see the difference. I think this helps but I like you don't think I will ever find my green zone because for us emotional eaters there isn't one. You look great in your photos but you need to feel great too. Avoid the stupid nutritionist it is never good and as for soup -I've just gained 2lbs eating soup - so I don't know what she's talking about.
    Take care and keep blogging

  3. All I can say is that you are not alone. I've been in therapy for years for my disordered eating. It's so hard to stop those behaviors. I have tried everything they suggest. I do find that my band does stop me better than anything else ever has, but I'm still afraid I'm going to hurt myself because I don't stop when I should. Good luck!
    Try journaling when you get the urge to binge, write it out before you take a bite, that has helped me in many instances.

  4. I have been thinking more and more about seeing someone to help me with the emotional and behavioral stuff behind the eating. Hang in there! xxx Hope the fill helps!!

  5. Our stories are so similar. I am fighting with the physical side of tightness and the emotional side of eating and to get those two things to get along well together. Hang in there sister!

  6. Holy crap, can I just say I just got done looking at your progress pictures. OMG! You look fantastic! You should be so proud of yourself, you look incredible. :)

  7. Hi, I have sent you some comments via email (it's a bit long - lol)...have a great day


Awww thanks so much for the comment!