Friday, June 08, 2012

Friday Weigh In- 8 June

Start: 87.5 kilos (192.5 lbs)
Last week: 86.9 kilos (191 lbs)
Today: 86.2 kilos (189.5 lbs)
Difference: - .7 kilos (1.5 lbs)
Total: -1.3 kilos (2.5 lbs)

It's time for my weekly weigh in for my Final 15 challenge and the results are mixed. I did lose 0.7 kilo this week, but I did not do it the right way...

Last week I talked about how I had a gain after a weekend of terrible eating and bingeing. I had really hoped that I could do better this week, but I somehow managed to do worse. I did not even think it was possible to do worse, but I guess I am kind of like a superhero of terrible eating and I surprised even myself.

I won't get into the nitty gritty of what went wrong because there is no real reason for why I started to eat and couldn't stop. I don't know why I keep eating until I am physically ill and can't even sleep because of the pain in my stomach. It just seems so crazy to me that I can want to lose weight so much and have every reason in the world to suceed and yet I keep failing. It is such a shameful process to keep going through.

After 4 days of binge eating I woke up on Tuesday morning and just knew something had to change. I took the drastic step of resorting to protein shakes for breakfast and lunch for the rest of the week (with normal dinners). I just felt like my body needed a reprieve from food and drinking the shakes didn't feel like a punishment, it felt refreshing.

So by doing the shakes I managed to turn my week around and actually lose 0.7 kilos instead of gaining about 3 kilos. Thank god. I obviously don't want to have to continue on this binge and starve cycle because it is not good for my body so I am hoping determined that this week I will do better.

This is me today as I write this at work at 86.2 kilos. It'll be at least another 6 kilos until I start to lose the bloat in my face and fit into any of my clothes again but I am determined to get these Final 15 kilos off.


7 comments:

  1. Well done on the loss! A loss is a loss and I know exactly what you are going through.

    I gained a tonne of weight over the last year and am finally getting back into it.

    I've done the binging and then the shakes so I know what you are going through

    Good luck!!

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  2. You can do it! Try alternating your days - healthy eating (or attempts at it) every other day and then protein shakes on the other days... and gradually add more days of healthy eating. Stay determined!! xxx

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  3. Hi Hilly
    I've read your blog for a while but for some reason have never commented... I just wanted to say - I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL. I've been eating well and exercising loads for about a couple of months, and lost about 6kg. Then, I had I went off the rails for about 4 days, and I have literally never felt so ill in my life. I think I actually gave myself the flu. It's weird, isn't it, when I was feeling really good, both mentally and physically (going for hour long runs, swimming, walking, pilates) and then I do that to myself. I guess I use food as a kind of drug / coping mechanism (well, obviously I do), I'm even learning a lot about why... I do it less than I used to, which is a plus, but am still trying to work out how to stop doing it completely.
    I guess all I'm saying is - here's to a good week, this week!

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  4. I think until we get to the bottom of why it is we eat for reasons other than fuel/nourishment, we're continually going to struggle. After all, we spent a good couple of decades, supporting this habit! I'm on my final 15kg too after loosing 48kg, and I'm starting to get my head around it. Have you considered talking to a professional about where you're at?

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  5. Wow! I thought I was the only one that did that!!! I've been doing the shake/juice thing 2x a day it is a huge help getting back on track. You got this ~ keep pushing!

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  6. I have bought protein shakes to drink every now and then, but can't get a good flavour. I can't handle if they have any powdery taste or if it is watery. What brand are you getting? Ps - I bloody love that sugar free chocolate too! Yum!

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Awww thanks so much for the comment!