Last week: 86.9 kilos (191 lbs)
Today: 86.2 kilos (189.5 lbs)
Difference: - .7 kilos (1.5 lbs)
Total: -1.3 kilos (2.5 lbs)
It's time for my weekly weigh in for my Final 15 challenge and the results are mixed. I did lose 0.7 kilo this week, but I did not do it the right way...
Last week I talked about how I had a gain after a weekend of terrible eating and bingeing. I had really hoped that I could do better this week, but I somehow managed to do worse. I did not even think it was possible to do worse, but I guess I am kind of like a superhero of terrible eating and I surprised even myself.
I won't get into the nitty gritty of what went wrong because there is no real reason for why I started to eat and couldn't stop. I don't know why I keep eating until I am physically ill and can't even sleep because of the pain in my stomach. It just seems so crazy to me that I can want to lose weight so much and have every reason in the world to suceed and yet I keep failing. It is such a shameful process to keep going through.
After 4 days of binge eating I woke up on Tuesday morning and just knew something had to change. I took the drastic step of resorting to protein shakes for breakfast and lunch for the rest of the week (with normal dinners). I just felt like my body needed a reprieve from food and drinking the shakes didn't feel like a punishment, it felt refreshing.
So by doing the shakes I managed to turn my week around and actually lose 0.7 kilos instead of gaining about 3 kilos. Thank god. I obviously don't want to have to continue on this binge and starve cycle because it is not good for my body so I am
This is me today as I write this at work at 86.2 kilos. It'll be at least another 6 kilos until I start to lose the bloat in my face and fit into any of my clothes again but I am determined to get these Final 15 kilos off.
Well done on the loss! A loss is a loss and I know exactly what you are going through.
ReplyDeleteI gained a tonne of weight over the last year and am finally getting back into it.
I've done the binging and then the shakes so I know what you are going through
Good luck!!
You can do it! Try alternating your days - healthy eating (or attempts at it) every other day and then protein shakes on the other days... and gradually add more days of healthy eating. Stay determined!! xxx
ReplyDeleteHi Hilly
ReplyDeleteI've read your blog for a while but for some reason have never commented... I just wanted to say - I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL. I've been eating well and exercising loads for about a couple of months, and lost about 6kg. Then, I had I went off the rails for about 4 days, and I have literally never felt so ill in my life. I think I actually gave myself the flu. It's weird, isn't it, when I was feeling really good, both mentally and physically (going for hour long runs, swimming, walking, pilates) and then I do that to myself. I guess I use food as a kind of drug / coping mechanism (well, obviously I do), I'm even learning a lot about why... I do it less than I used to, which is a plus, but am still trying to work out how to stop doing it completely.
I guess all I'm saying is - here's to a good week, this week!
I think until we get to the bottom of why it is we eat for reasons other than fuel/nourishment, we're continually going to struggle. After all, we spent a good couple of decades, supporting this habit! I'm on my final 15kg too after loosing 48kg, and I'm starting to get my head around it. Have you considered talking to a professional about where you're at?
ReplyDeleteWow! I thought I was the only one that did that!!! I've been doing the shake/juice thing 2x a day it is a huge help getting back on track. You got this ~ keep pushing!
ReplyDeleteI have bought protein shakes to drink every now and then, but can't get a good flavour. I can't handle if they have any powdery taste or if it is watery. What brand are you getting? Ps - I bloody love that sugar free chocolate too! Yum!
ReplyDeleteI'm in the same spot. We can do this!!!
ReplyDelete