Monday, June 25, 2012

Food For Thought

The interesting thing about having my band so tight at the moment is that it has given my head a much need break. I normally torment myself every waking minute with thoughts of food. I am always thinking about when I can next eat, what I am going to eat and how much I can eat. Right now with my band so tight I know I can't eat most foods and so there is just no point even thinking about it.

This head conversation will happen almost everyday at some point:

'I want pizza for dinner?'
'No, must have fish and vegetables'
'I just don't care anymore, I want pizza, I am going to get a pizza'
'Why can't I just stick to this diet and not eat like a pig?'
'It's been a rough day, pizza will make everything feel better'
'But I will feel worse after I eat the pizza and hate myself'
'What if I make a healthy homemade pizza'
'I don't want healthy pizza, I want mounds of delicious cheese'
'Are you crazy, there is about 2 days worth of calories in one pizza'
'If I get pizza I can also get a block of chocolate to eat after'
'What if I just get the pizza and not the chocolate...'
'Screw it, if I am having pizza, I am having chocolate too'

1 hour later....

'Oh god, I hate myself'


This doesn't happen only once a day either, it goes around and around in my head constantly from the moment I wake up, until I fall asleep (and dream of cake).
  • I pack my lunch and look at the tin of tuna and wonder if I should buy a nice hot lunch at work instead
  • I walk toward work and past the cafe that does the amazing potato cakes and think I should get some for a snack
  • I eat my breakfast and calculate how many hours until I can eat my lunch
  • Someone brings in cake to work and I think about whether a small sliver will send me off track
  • Colleagues ask me if I want anything from the noodle shop for lunch and I wonder if just once will hurt
  • I eat my lunch and calculate if I have enough calories for an afternoon snack today
  • Afternoon rolls around and by god some chocolate would make this day so much sweeter
  • It's almost time to leave work and I wonder if I should stop at the supermarket on the way home to get something nice for dinner
  • I get home from work and realise I still have about an hour and a half before it would be reasonable to eat dinner and contemplate a pre-dinner snack
  • Now the dinner torment begins (see head conversation above)
  • I prepare myself a healthy dinner and kick myself because I know I served up more than I should
  • I finish my dinner and immediately think about dessert
  • I know I don't have enough calories left for dessert, but I would kill for some chocolate now
  • How bad would it be if I ate some ice cream?
  • By the time I go to bed I am quite hungry again and I seriously contemplate a late night maccas run for a cheeseburger

This is on a healthy day... you do not even want to know the thoughts that go through my mind on an unhealthy day!

So while it has been difficult to have my band so tight that I can barely eat, it has been a very welcome relief from these thoughts that torment me. Right now the only decision I have to make is what kind of soup I should have for dinner. Such a relief.



  1. Oh hun. I feel your pain. I remember when I cut carbs. It seriously fucked me up. But, some good snack tips I found;

    Celery, carrot and some low fat hommus or tzatziki. Seriously, you can demolish a huge container for a low, low calorie price!. And it really does fill you up. I used to use them for when I was in a browsing mood, and just wanted to eat all day.

    Raw mushrooms. 20Cal per 100g, and they fill you up too. And you stay full for a good couple of hours.

    Low fat greek or natural yoghurt with berries. Not so filling, but it does have a touch of sweetness to it that curbs ice cream cravings. You can also add flavoured potein to it and freeze it for an icecream replacement! Just make sure to stip it every 20 minutes or so.

    A boiled egg. That was my night time snack when I craved real food. Its got a bit of fat in it, but its good fats. Eggs are also a little protein bomb, and act as an appetitie suppressant.

    Chewing gum - acts an an appetite suppressant!

    I'd also make little ricotta balls, with protein powder, oats, some dried fruits, nuts and a 50g bar of good dark chocolate roucghly chopped into the whole batch.

    Dark chocolate kills chocolate cravings. You get that hit, but wiothout the addicting sweetness. So you can have 2 or 4 pieces and then resaonably stop. I buy 1 block of good dark for a fortnight. And it lasts. Admittedly, I am adding 500cal to my diet over 14 days, but it reduces the chances of a binge.

    Also, baked ricotta with berries and protein. Seriously yummo, satisfies the sweet, and fills you.

    Are you getting a theme with ricotta and protein? My friends hated it, but my trainer thought it was awesome, and I loved it too.

  2. Oh my God, I can relate SO MUCH to this. Thanks for sharing. You described EXACTLY what goes on my mind every freaking minute of every day during these dieting periods. It's crazy how much I think about the stuff that I eat (or don't eat, because I can't). The whole day, my brain is like "ok, you just had this tastless, god-awful piece of air shaped like food, now, how long until you can have your next meal?"...I'm doing all these things, but my mind is focusing exclusively on food, 24/07. It's sick, and it makes me angry. Anyway, STAY STRONG, SISTER! Keep up with the good work, and good luck with the weight loss. You're not alone. :-)

    Internet Stranger

  3. Wow for a second there I thought you had tapped into my head! That is exactly what I go through on a daily basis. ARRRGGGGHHHH! Why cant our heads tell us they crave a salad not a pizza! Keep up the amazing work hun.


Awww thanks so much for the comment!