Thursday, January 11, 2007

What Was I Thinking?

No I didn't eat a Big Mac, I did something worse... yoga.

Someone should have warned me that when you weigh 114.5 kilo's that yoga is not the best way to go exercise wise. I thought it was all breathing and meditating and stretching. Turns out I was wrong.

You need to be able to hold your weight up while contorting your body into strange positions on your tip toes and then try to freaking breath in and out. My arms and legs were shaking and I felt like I was going to collapse at any time. At one stage I just stopped and sat on my mat because I thought I was going to die and the yoga instructor asked me why I had stopped and seeing as I didn't want to tell everyone it was because "I am too fat for yoga", I just had to keep going.

I haven't even mentioned the most humiliating part, I did this with my size 10 work colleagues. I haven't felt so fat and stupid in a long time. They were all relaxed, breathing properly and finding their spirits or something, while I was red in the face, dripping in sweat and looked like I was about to explode.

So now, $80 later, I am signed up for 8 weeks. I would rather pay another $80 never to go again. I am not sure how to get out of this, but I am not going back. I know some people might think I should persevere and not be a quitter, but god damn it, I am an adult and I don't have to do things I don't want to do. This is not like the time I signed up for girl guides or when I joined a born-again-christian bible studies group because I was too scared to say no. I am not going to be miserable because I feel obligated.

I walked home afterwards at a snails pace. My legs were still shaky and I was so sore that I had to take small, slow steps. God only knows how I am going to feel tomorrow. I might have to get a taxi to work...


  1. Oh Tully, that experience sounds like it was torture for you! I'm highly unimpressed with the yoga instructor; since they should be providing modifications so that you don't cause an injury - when I first started Yoga, I had to do it with all modifications since I was worried that I would pop out a knee or a wrist or an ankle; and part of that was due to joint health (particularly in the wrists) rather than body weight - so they SHOULD be showing modifications so that ANYONE can use them.

    Is there any way that you can transfer what you paid to one of your work colleagues? I understand that its a waste if you spend the time and don't enjoy it, but it seems a shame that you have spent that money.

    I hope you are feeling better today *HUGZ*

  2. I do very basic yoga. There is such a thing as yoga for beginners. I have a dvd that does very gentle, not particularly challenging stretches and they have worked wonders for me and I feel fantastic after doing it. Anyway, yoga is incredibly progressive, you just have to start slowly and not push yourself beyond what you can do and very gradually it will become easier.

  3. Hang in there. That sounds really tough. Can you make time to talk to your instructor privately about modifications to the exercises (and about not embarassing you by making too much ado about them during class)?

    I was doing yoga at 230 pounds and really liked it, but it's a heck of a lot easier now. Major props to you for daring to try this. I hope you will give it another class or two to see if it gets better.


Awww thanks so much for the comment!