A Fond Farewell to 2010

I have to confess that I am struggling to get on board with being excited for 2011. I had such a great 2010 that I find it hard to believe that 2011 will compare.

Please indulge me while I go over just a few of my favourite moments from each month of 2010...

In January I quit the job I hated.

In February I finally got my drivers licence and a little car.

In March I left for a 3 month holiday around Canada, USA and Mexico.

In April we celebrated AJ's 30th birthday by flying to the Grand Canyon and then partying in Las Vegas.

In May I celebrated my 1 year anniversary of my lap band in the Napa Valley sipping champagne and watching my favourite singer, Lisa Loeb, perform.

In June I spent a week in a luxurious resort in Mexico, followed by a week with all my family in Tofino (Canada) before returning home to Melbourne.

In July I spent 2 weeks in New Zealand doing a freelance job and then a relaxing few days with some blogger friends in Canberra eating, drinking, talking and having fun.

In August I returned to the real world and got a new apartment and a job in Melbourne. Sigh.

In September I headed to Bali for a week for a friend's wedding

In October I was very sick and I have no photos because I was too sick to do anything but sleep.

In November I finally celebrated losing 50 kilos, getting into the 70's and fitting into 'normal' shops clothing.

In December I turned 30 and spent a blissful couple of weeks celebrating my birthday, Christmas and New Years.

I honestly wish I could do it all again. 2010 was the best year of my life!

The Plan Is This...

Well, as predicted, I haven’t done too well with the optifast. I am sure everyone is just shocked as I am! I did the first day OK and then went out for dinner that night for chinese food and drank a bottle of wine. Then yesterday I had a big extended family lunch at a winery and obviously drank quite a lot of wine and then came home and ate macaroni and cheese and potato gems. Best meal ever I must say!

I am back on board today, even though it is my first day back at work, which is excruciatingly painful. I’ll probably try and do a shake for breakfast, bar for lunch and then low carb (protein and salad) for dinner. That seems realistic for me at the moment, but let’s be honest, it could all come crashing down at any moment…

In other diet related news, I have to confess that AJ and I both have a nasty fast food habit and so we have set ourselves a challenge to cut back drastically for 2011. Aside from the health issues, we just spend way too much money on eating out and my finances are a disaster. So the challenge is this:

1. No fast food- but we get 3 free passes. This is mostly just for the inevitable time that I really need a cheeseburger to fix my hangover, so that I don’t give up completely because I have stuffed up.

(Fast food includes: McDonalds, KFC, Hungry Jacks and Red Rooster)

2. Eat take away food only once per month- hopefully getting a Thai takeaway and a bottle of wine will become more a treat and not just a typical Monday evening.

3. Go out for dinner only once per month- this means just AJ and I alone, we can still go out with family and friends aside from this, or else we would have no social life.

That is going to be really difficult for me because currently we would go to a restaurant and get a take away and eat fast food at least once a week each. I find that with my lap band it doesn’t have to be a problem for the waistline, but meanwhile my wallet is crying out for help.

Wish me luck, I am going to need it.

Summer Holidays

I'm back at work tomorrow after two and a half weeks off work and oh god it hurts. I had such a fabulous time with family and friends. Eating all my favourite foods, drinking my favourite wines, sleeping late, going on adventures. I wish every day could be so lovely...

Getting outrageously drunk with a friend where we lamented how old and boring we are by getting so drunk I woke up on a tram in Brunswick and had no idea where I was or how I got there. I also lost my gorgeous new jacket and had a 4 day hang over. Ouch.

Beautiful birthday flowers from AJ's family.

 My gran with my brother and his girlfriend, did I tell you they moved back from Canada a few months ago?

Birthday presents!

My Victoria's Secret present, very luxurious!

Gorgeous birthday flowers from a dear blogging friend, Kenz.

Me having a picnic at the zoo, I think I was happier than I look here...

The picnic spread, all my favourite foods, cheese, olives and salami.

AJ snoozing in the sun at the zoo.

Me posing at the zoo.

My favourite animals, the echindas, love them.

Lovely birthday flowers from my dad and step mum.

Me on the way to dinner for my birthday.

AJ posing while walking to dinner.

Me drinking cocktails for my birthday dinner at Cutler & Co.

Dessert, decadent, delicious.

Yay for being skinny enough to pinch AJ's jacket when it's cold!

Christmas Day feast at my mum's, with a photo of my little brother and his girlfriend who are still living in Canada.

My older brother's girlfriend by the Christmas tree at my mum's.

Boxing day with my dad and step mum at their place in the country.

The fire where my dad cooked the turkey, love the inukshuk's they built after inspiration from their Canada trip!

Love having my band loose enough to be able to eat a steak sandwich from Grill'd! OK, so I still only ate a third of it, but it's great being able to get it down.

Every night we weren't out, me and AJ ordered take away and drank wine and watch Judd Apatow movies at home. This is my happy place!

The delicious peanut butter chocolate ripple cake I made. Orgasmic.

AJ bought me an iphone for my birthday and I am loving playing with the apps!

Here's AJ's new look!

Having a picnic at Daylesford.

Walking the picnic food off after lunch.

Fish and chips at the beach in Torquay.

It was 43 degrees C (110 F) in Torquay, so of course we went swimming, the water was so refreshing.

Opening up the champers for a glamourous NYE in my pyjamas at home with a Jason Priestly movie.

AJ kicking back on the couch on NYE.

Happy New Year!

New Years Day walk around the river, I was hung over and feeling sick from eating cake for breakfast, so it wasn't as healthy as it seems.

If You Do The Crime...

Well you gotta do the time...

My selection of 'food' for the next few days.

Blending my first optifast shake this morning.

A few factors came together over the past few weeks that have resulted in a mammoth weight gain. A gain that is so bad that I am almost ashamed to say it out loud... OK, I will... 5 big fat kilos in 3 weeks. I went from a lovely 77.5 kilos on 11th December 2010 to a hefty 82.5 kilos 1st January 2011.

BIG FAT EXCUSE 1: I got an un-fill of my lap band and it meant I could eat all sorts of foods that I haven't been able to eat in 18 months. I would like to say that I didn't cave in, but instead I visited my old 'friends' Grill'd, Red Rooster, pizza and many other fast food acquaintances. I can't lie, it was fun!

BIG FAT EXCUSE 2: Then there was also my birthday, Christmas, summer holidays and New Years... cake, champagne, celebrating, more champagne, more cake, more celebrating. Need I say more?

BIG FAT EXCUSE 3: Hmmm, how do I say this without being dramatic. I had a minor meltdown. As much as it may seem like I am an attention seeking whore by posting pictures of myself all over this blog, I actually hate attention of any kind, and it causes me a great deal of anxiety. Turning 30 meant that everyone made a big deal of me and it sent me over the edge a little. I hate people buying me things, I hate people making a big deal over me or spending money on me. It actually stresses me out so much that I found the whole thing too much and I became overwhelmed with self hatred. Self hatred does not make you treat yourself very well...

I'm not sure how long I'll last on the Optifast shakes, it may not even be a full day, but whatever I can do will help. My lap band and my body need a little rest from having copious amounts of food shoved in it.

Happy New Year

I know New Years resolutions are silly, but I think it's good to be able to refresh and refocus on your goals. Who doesn't like a fresh start? There are many things I need to work on for 2011, you know all the usual things, eliminate debt, be a nicer person, get a better job, read more etc. I do genuinely care about these things, but let's be honest, I have one thing on my mind this year...

GET TO MY GOAL WEIGHT OF 65 KILOS


I can't believe that this could be the year I finally get skinny. I'm soooo close...

Number 19

The day before my 30th birthday I decided to get a spray tan to give me more of a summer glow for the holidays, without realising that it was on my list of 30 before 30. So I managed to cross another item off before the deadline! I have to say that the whole event was probably as bad as I imagined, but no worse than I had imagined. If that makes sense.

I chose to keep my knickers on, mostly to cover my stomach, more than my private bits... The woman doing the spray tan was OK about the whole thing, but it's not everyday I stand (almost) naked and spread eagled in front of a stranger while she sprays tan onto me. Not my favourite thing to do.

I was supposed to sleep with the tan on and wash it of in the morning, but at about 12.30 am I went downstairs to go to bed and saw myself in the mirror and was a little horrified. I was dark, dark brown and looked ridiculous. The woman at the spray tan place told me I should expect this, but as it was my first spray tan I was still a little worried and decided not to risk it and so I washed it off that night before bed.

I was pretty happy with how the tan turned out, but next time I would be more careful with my hands because they were orange and horrible. I would definitely do it again, but at $40 a pop, it's not something I can afford every week... Why can't I be rich and famous. Sigh.

Oh god, this is hilarious, look how brown I am!

Arghhh, I'm scared, should I was it off???

The underwear line where spray tan meets natural colour. OMFG!

The next day, looking natural enough, except for those orange hands...

30 Rocks

The day has finally arrived, I am no longer a twenty-something, I am the big three oh. Apparently it hasn't made me grow up at all because I still think things like this are hilarious...

The t-shirt I found in Target... I just took of photo of me in it, but I kind of wish I bought it now ($10 from the mens section). I guess it's not that funny though considering most people I know in 'real life' don't know I have a lap band.

An extreme close up... because I need more close ups of my breasts on the internet...

'Tis The Season

I always hate this time of year because I have a crazy family, not funny crazy, but lunatic crazy. My mum has already told me she's taking the tree down and that I shouldn't bother coming home for Christmas, so who knows how Christmas will go this year. The fun never stops!

Anyway, I have a very bad pattern of weight gain around this time of year because this craziness drives me into a vat of ice cream and this year is looking no different. I feel so puffy and bloated from way too much eating and drinking and I just can't seem to stop. My clothes have already stopped fitting me and just looking in my closet makes me depressed. I am thinking I might need a mini detox after Christmas, just so that I can face the scales in the New Year. I am seriously considering a few days of optifast, but I am not sure I have it in me to drink that shit. If only there was a Sauv Blanc detox diet...

AJ and I were watching an old episode of 30 Rock the other night and a scene came on where Liz Lemon is watching TV, wearing a 'slanket' and eating a plate of cheese in the middle of the night. AJ looked at me and asked if perhaps I could see any similarities between myself and Liz Lemon in that scene... Then five minutes later, in the worst case of timing, I happen to be eating a Magnum ice cream in my dressing gown and the whole ice cream falls off the stick onto my chest and arm. I don't have any free hands to clean it up because I am holding the stick with one hand (which still has a little ice cream on it) and my other arm has a chunk of ice cream sitting on it, so I have to ask AJ to help get the ice cream off me. Not my finest moment.

I then despair that I will have to wash my dressing gown now and AJ says: "isn't that like the third time this month that this has happened?". I actually think it might be the fourth time...

Oh dear... I think I need to get out of my dressing gown, put away the ice cream and get off the couch.

Bun In The Oven

No, I am not pregnant, but that isn't stopping people from thinking I am...

When I was really big I didn't really ever get mistaken for being pregnant because I looked fat rather than pregnant I guess. I was always grateful for being saved the humiliation of people asking me when the baby was due, but I noticed it seemed to happen to a lot of my thinner friends. A girl I work with shared a few hilarious stories of when she was mistaken for being pregnant, even though she isn't really fat at all. A particularly bad situation was when she started a big impressive job as a lawyer in the US and they held a drinks reception for her, when she went to the bar with her colleagues the bar tender refused to serve her because he said it is illegal to serve alcohol to a pregnant woman. I think I would have to quit my job after having that happen in front of new colleagues.

Anyway, the reason I am bringing this up is because 3 times in the past few weeks I have got onto a packed tram and a young guy has jumped up and offered his seat to me. The first time I thought it was odd, the second time I wondered if guys were getting more chivalrous and the third time I realised it wasn't a coincidence and they must think I am pregnant. There is just no other reason why these guys would offer their seats to me, I am perfectly capable of standing up on the tram.

It happened again yesterday and I took the seat that was offered because I thought the guy was giving it to me because he was getting off the tram, but then he didn't get off until we got to the city... half an hour later... I sat there the entire time completely mortified and put my bag on my lap to cover my stomach. AJ happened to be with me that day and he thought the whole thing was hysterical. Nice to be a guy and not have to worry about these things.

I got dressed this morning and AJ says to me "That's nice, you don't look pregnant". I guess that is what passes for a compliment these days...